90 Minutes in Heaven If you've ever wondered if God punishes people who help ruin popular genre franchises, just look what's happened to Hayden "poor man's Anakin" Christensen and Kate "nobody's Lois Lane" Bosworth. They've been reduced to providing the "name" talent in the faith-based drama 90 Minutes in Heaven, which has Christensen playing a deceased motorist who gets brought back to life thanks to the prayers of some buttinsky minister. Hmmm ... sounds as if the same crew who espouse the philosophy "God wouldn't let us destroy the Earth, so drill, baby, drill" have turned their attention to the timely issue of texting and driving. But hey, Jesus: If you're so smart, how come you haven't noticed that your movie titles sound like teenage makeout games? (PG-13)
Cop Car In this indie nailbiter, a couple of prepubes boost a black-and-white, then find that their underdeveloped driving skills aren't nearly as much of a threat to their lives as is the sheriff who's looking for his ride. And if you think that raining down a hailstorm of retribution upon a couple of 10-year-olds sounds excessive, just know that Elizabeth Hasselbeck considers those kids a hate group. (R)
Meru Or, Straight Outta Sundance and Straight Up Da Himalayas. Audiences at the Mount Redford Festival tossed an award at this doc about climbers who have to confront their "complicated pasts" and "inner demons" on their way to a previously unreached peak. Hey, if you want me to even climb stairs, you're gonna have to leave your baggage at base camp. (R)
The Perfect Guy A misguided affair with an IT expert (Michael Ealy) leaves a woman (Sanaa Lathan) fearing for her life. Because once they've helped you set up a private server in your home, it's every gal for herself. (PG-13)
The Visit In M. Night Shyamalan's latest – yes, M. Night Shyamalan has a "latest" – a pair of siblings trapped at Grandma and Grandpa's place discover that the old buzzards are up to no good. If the Nightster has learned anything in the past decade, he had nothing to do with the flick's official tagline: "This September, stay in your room." (PG-13)
Wolf Totem The film version of Lu Jiamin's novel about a Chinese student who learns valuable lessons in survival and social structure while working in Inner Mongolia during the Cultural Revolution. Critical reactions to the book included "fascist" and "didactic"; expect IGN to similarly pillory the movie if the CGI isn't up to snuff. (PG-13)
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