The 5th Wave Right now, you're probably wondering what happened to the world you knew, with the passing of David Bowie, Alan Rickman and Beverly Hillbillies star Donna Douglas (for the second year in a row!) making you doubt that anything is going to keep life worth living in 2016. Well, take a chill, because there's some stability left to our existence: As before, movie studios are going to continue to troll the YA shelves for cheap one-weekend box office. The latest example is The 5th Wave, in which a young girl (genre captive Chloe Grace Moretz) fights an invasion of creatures who look like us but are actually malevolent monsters from another place entirely. Our gal Chloe's ingenious solution: close the borders until we can figure out what the hell is going on. (PG-13)
The Boy I've always had a soft spot for horror stories about poor suckers who are duped into playing caretaker for sinister entities. The Shining, Burnt Offerings, Nanny 911 – I love them all. So I'm utterly enticed by the premise of The Boy, in which an American woman is hired to take care of a British 8-year-old who turns out to be a porcelain doll. I mean, what the continental fuck, right? Even better, the little stiff's name is – get this – Brahms. Featuring a star turn by The Walking Dead's Lauren Cohan, this thing has all the elements to be a rich footnote to history whether it's any damn good or not. I mean, Brahms! Honest to God! (PG-13)
Dirty Grandpa And in case you were in need of a new metric by which to determine how far Robert De Niro has fallen, here it is: He's been reduced to appearing in movies whose main selling point is the hope that Netflix subscribers might one day confuse them with Johnny Knoxville pictures. In Meet the Jackass – or whatever the hell it's called – De Niro plays a filthy-minded ex-Marine who complicates the life of his son-in-law-to-be. Director Dan Mazer's sole other feature was 2013's I Give It a Year, which one IMDB reviewer pronounced "so unfunny it could have been German." As for his latest, I give it ein tag. (R)
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