Opening in Orlando: The 33, By the Sea, Love the Coopers and My All American 

click to enlarge The 33

The 33

The 33 This reality-based drama tells the story of the 33 Chilean miners who were trapped underground for 69 days back in 2010. (See, the title 2010 was already taken, and a picture called 69 would probably have trouble getting booked into family multiplexes.) Antonio Banderas plays miner Mario Sepulveda, known to his fellows as "Super Mario." Poor Bob Hoskins: This is the Super Mario he was supposed to hold out for playing. (PG-13)

By the Sea It's the first Brangelina movie since Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and get this: Our Angie wrote and directed the thing. And it's all about a marriage on the rocks, which should at least make Jen chuckle a bit. To be more specific, The United Pitts of Benetton play an American husband and wife who have to come to terms with their rocky relationship while on a trip to the French seaside in the 1970s. Now, I like Angelina more than a lot of people do – she's crazy, sure, but she's my kind of crazy – but as somebody who lived through the '70s, I can tell you that anybody who was able to vacation in France was nobody I could be bothered to care about, because they sure didn't care about me. Retro First-World Problems? NEXT! (R)

Love the Coopers When will Hollywood figure out that the one thing we hate almost as much as spending time with our family is watching movies about people spending time with their family? Once upon a time, it might have seemed like a delightful escape to grab the car keys and go see Alan Arkin fight Amanda Seyfried for the last piece of turducken on Christmas Eve. But now we have Grindr, so move the hell on. Director Jessie Nelson's last gig was the legendarily cloying I Am Sam, although writer Steven Rogers worked on Kate & Leopold, which was a fine picture until Roger Ebert made the studio gut it at the 11th hour. Hmmm, I wish there was some way to make an ironclad decision here. "Featuring Diane Keaton"? Yeah, that did it. Paintball it is. (PG-13)

My All American Back in the late '80s, there was a Dennis Quaid/Jessica Lange movie called Everybody's All-American. Jesus, and they called that a selfish decade? Now our movie stars don't even want to share their all-Americans with anybody else. Why not just iAll-American, or even iAll-American on Demand? Anyway, what we have here is another true gridiron story, about the challenges that faced University of Texas player Freddie Steinmark (Finn Wittrock) and how he was helped by legendary coach Darrell Royal (Aaron Eckhart). (In case you're keeping score, the official count of "legendary coaches" profiled in true-sports movies now stands at 1,459.) Writer-director Angelo Pizzo penned Hoosiers and Rudy, which means you're going to be hearing lots about this one from whatever family member traditionally ruins your Thanksgiving by droning on and on about the Big Game. (PG)


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