Movies opening in theaters this week: 'Big Eyes,' 'The Interview' (not really), 'Into the Woods' and more 

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Big Eyes Tim Burton's latest finally reunites him with the writers of Ed Wood, his best-ever film. It stars the red-hot Amy Adams and Christoph Waltz. It opens on Christmas Day. So why haven't we seen any TV ads for it as of press time, while promos for the week's other wide releases are blanketing the airwaves? Uh oh! (PG-13)

The Interview I don't normally stick up for countries that tried to kill my Dad 60 years ago. And I don't ordinarily side with repressive, humorless regimes that respond to mild satire by committing intellectual-property theft on a grand scale. But I gotta admit, I'm kind of on North Korea's side in the war they've declared on The Interview. Why? Because of that old geopolitical axiom, "The enemy of Seth Rogen is my friend." Once again, Rogen and his pals share with us the ineffable delight of being Seth Rogen and his pals, as they attempt to take out Kim Jong-Un in a daring, top-secret assassination. The very idea will have you rolling on the floor in fits of meta-hilarity – if you're Seth Rogen. If you aren't, I guess you can just go fuck yourself as usual. Me, I'm thinking Dennis Rodman was right. (R) (Editor's note: On Dec. 18, Sony Pictures Entertainment cancelled all screenings of The Interview due to terrorist threats.)

Into the Woods All year long, I've had to listen while my theater-geek friends debated doggedly the potentially heretical changes portended by this adaptation of the Sondheim classic. Honestly, it's made me feel like Penny on The Big Bang Theory, sitting mum while the fellas argue over the omission of Tom Bombadil from The Fellowship of the Ring. So you can bet I'm gonna stay as far away from social media on Christmas Day, when Woods is finally released, as I customarily do on Tony Awards Sunday or whenever NBC airs another live musical. Either that, or I'm going to have to learn to set "Interested in men" as a filter. (Think that crack was homophobic or misogynistic? Remember who just compared himself to Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting. Also, I'm wearin' panties!) (PG)

Unbroken Angelina Jolie's latest directorial outing is a sequel to M. Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable. Ha, ha – wouldn't that be something? Seriously, it's a remake of Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence. With Jerry O'Connell's kid as David Bowie. Hand to God. (PG-13)


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