16 Stones Two Mormon-themed movies in three weeks? Somethin’s up! Following on the heels of the modern-minded Meet the Mormons, this one’s a bit of historical speculation centered on the Missouri government’s 1838 order that the followers of Joseph Smith had to be exterminated. In the film, that crisis inspires a search for some sacred Mormon artifacts – a plotline that, director Brian Brough admits, was inspired by the National Treasure school of action thrillers. Hey, now that Nic Cage is shilling for the fundies, it’s only fair for the missionary set to bite his bit. (PG)
Exists After years of covering (and, some would say, championing) Haxan Films, I once wrote something relatively innocuous about their post-Blair Witch career path and received an extremely pissed-off message from one of them. So I’m gonna keep this blurb as factual and innuendo-free as possible, so absolutely nobody has a reason to get upset: Exists was directed by Haxan’s Ed Sanchez. It’s about a bunch of kids who get pursued by Bigfoot. At press time, it had been booked into one Orlando-area theater, as part of a double feature with Blair Witch. Oh, and the flick’s Sasquatch theme sees the Haxans revisiting terrain they had intended to cover in their TV remake of In Search Of, which fell apart 14 years ago. See? Not a single nasty implication as far as the eye can see. (R)
John Wick Just as we now apparently can’t get through a month without seeing Mormons at the multiplex, the movie gods long ago decided that a week couldn’t go by without a hit man emerging from retirement for our carnage-witnessing pleasure. This time, the pissed-off pro in question is played by Keanu Reeves, because IT COULD HAPPEN. Directors Chad Stahelski and David Leitch are former stuntmen making their debut as filmmakers, so expect lots of emphasis on Meisner technique and emotional truth. (R)
Ouija A recent New Yorker cartoon pointed out that Ouija boards are like texting for the dead. Here in Florida, we know that the two are intimately connected: Text during a movie, and you soon may be dead. Text during this movie, and who knows what’ll happen, since it’s all about the malevolent forces that can be unleashed when one messes around with the supernatural world’s answer to Sorry! Filmmaker Stiles White has – you guessed it – never directed a picture before, though he did write such genre entries as The Possession and Boogeyman. Speaking of which, did you know that the Boogeyman is one of the legends the Haxan guys were going to cover on In Search Of? OK, now that was just gratuitous. (PG-13)
Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.