Small potatoes

We heard about this case in my Sexual Behaviors class at the University of Central Florida, and personally, I think that instead of picking on small business and people that have little effect on Orlando, they should focus on more important things [“Operation MBI Shame,” Oct. 25]. Funny how there are no investigations into corrupt politicians or people that have actual influence.

Brandy V. Antilla, via the Internet

Release the lawyers!

What the hell’s going on up there [“Operation MBI Shame,” Oct. 25]? Fight this tooth and nail. Make them pay! March on a road of bones, take no prisoners, etc. These mouth-breathing Jesus freaks are threatening the entire industry. Don’t lie down and don’t bend over. Release the lawyers!

How far does this crap have to go before people are in the streets, dammit? No more! These jackbooted man-children who get strange giggles over paging through every escort ad they find need to be hauled out into the light of day and exposed for the pudgy-faced, too-delicate, lily-white sodomites they are!

Yours in Christ,

Dan Sweeney, via the Internet

Very funny

You know, other people working on a campaign might take offense that you called his candidate a “villain” [Happytown™, Oct. 25], but I think your piece on Alan [Grayson] getting back into the District 8 race this year was hilarious. I get where you’re coming from on all points; hey, even I tumble my tongue rattling off all the kids’ names, and they are friends of the family. Alan can seem a little quirky at times, but you know what? That’s because this guy really lives his life his way. He’s less of a “weirdo” and more of a maverick (sorry, John McCain). Why he even wants to run sometimes baffles me considering all the hassles of public office these days, but lucky for our area, he does.

One thing about him, he’s willing to put his money where his mouth is. It’s a nice change from some of the other local politicians who seem to be more interested in lending their mouth to whoever has the money. Could we find a smoother, more polished candidate that says all the right things and accomplishes nothing? Sure, we already have those guys. That’s why I like Alan. Instead of talking a good game, he plays one. Isn’t that more important in times like these?

Thanks again for making me laugh. I always wanted to work for a super villain.

Tom Baker, via the Internet

Not funny at all

So, [Jeffrey C. Billman], has Keller hired you to write his attack ads on me? [Happytown™, Oct. 25]. Seems like it. Here is some current coverage of what I’ve done for the past few years that somehow manages to convey the pertinent information without resorting to the term “weirdo”: the current issue of Vanity Fair, the Aug. 23 issue of Rolling Stone, the Oct. 17 broadcast of the CBS Evening News and the Oct. 22 issue of the Wall Street Journal.

Time will tell whether such media coverage translates into victory, when many people already know me, and I have a year to get the point across, instead of three months. I’ll tell you this, though: When someone comes along who has been doing something for the common good important enough to rate that kind of coverage, and you write about the beard, the children’s names and paint color, what you might end up with in public office is someone without a beard, whose children are named Dick and Jane, who lives in a off-white house and who doesn’t do a damn bit of good for anyone but himself.

Alan Grayson, via the Internet

Dept. of corrections

Our Oct. 25 cover story, “Operation MBI Shame,” incorrectly stated that a former prostitute claimed MBI agent Cleveland Ray Peters forced her to have sex with him in a hotel in 1988. As we reported in August 2003, the woman did not claim that Peters forced her to have sex with him and Peters maintained the sex was consensual. An investigation by the Orange County Sheriff’s Office cleared Peters of misconduct charges.

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