A Night of Sleazy Underground Cinema The debate will probably rage eternally as to whom exploitation cinema exploits most — the audience (which has its worst impulses shamelessly massaged) or the stars (who are practically doomed to obscurity). But all that oh-so-serious navel-gazing goes out the window when you hear an actress utter a line as priceless as, "I cut off that whore's tits … and now that you know the truth, you have to die, too!" Find this pithy observation in Boobie Trap, one of two Atlanta-made cheapie-culties hacking their way into town for one night only. In Trap a detective goes on the hunt for a knife-wielding killer — and the prime suspect just happens to be played by a Penthouse Pet. (Just happens, you understand.) It's joined on the bill by That's Just Wrong, the story of a psycho stalker and the victim he up and moves in with. Having only seen the trailer, we'll still go out on a limb and say it's the best film ever to be narrated by a Boston terrier. Filmmakers Herb Henderson and Joe Christ will be on hand for a Q&A, which opens the door to a boast not even the Florida Film Festival could ever manage: "Christ will attend the Thursday screening." (10 p.m. at Screamers; $5-$7; 407-244-0299)

Dance of the Llama at COMMA As commercialized Gay Days raises a racket (and some eyebrows) mostly south of town in tourist territory, this local expression of solidarity should be lauded. A lot of other area organizations having given up trying to organize an event that can compete with those of mass appeal, but Karen Carasik and her COMMA helpers have cleared a space for a visual frolic with an eclectic assortment of paintings by such noted gay artists as Victor Bokas, James Hedges, Keith Theriot, DurkArt, Virgil and others. Llamas are celebrated for their intellectual and curious nature; they eagerly explore the unknown just for the fun of it. Share that approach to the world here this month at a more locals-friendly response to Gay Days. (reception 6 p.m.-9:30 p.m., through June 30 at COMMA; free; 407-894-4505)


Slightly Stoopid Where do these people come from? We saw Slightly Stoopid last year with Fishbone and we were completely blindsided by the enormous crowd they drew. Though we're not big fans of their Sublime-derived groove-punk, it's clear that it doesn't really matter what we think when they're drawing in what seems like every surfer and bong-bearing college kid within a 100-mile radius. And, truthfully, they're one of the few bands that can combine fluid mastery of their instruments with an easygoing party vibe that's not completely offensive. (with Pepper, Tommy Guerrero; 8 p.m. at Hard Rock Live; $22.50; 407-351-5483)


80AMP! We've had some trouble reconciling the fact that we love the '80s with the ... shall we say, adult reality that tells us the decade of our youth was shallow. We love us some high-toned stuff, but we can't get over our Kim Wilde fixation either. This monster of an event makes us feel better, as it eschews run-of-the-mill '80s nostalgia for a more amorphous '80s-oriented theme. Said theme will be infecting this "art, music and fashion extravaganza," and, boy, when the organizers say "extravaganza," they're not kidding. In addition to music by Johnny Coathanger & the Abortions (a band we've never heard of, but given the name and the fact that it's an Asphalt side project, expect to be rocked) and the neon-and-spandex glory that is the A-Team, an '80s-oriented fashion show, an auction (with prizes from Alchemy, Will's Pub, the Beauty Spot and others), a spoken-word contest and, oh yeah, a Robot Dance-Off. (8 p.m. at The Social; $10; 407-246-1419)

Girls in Wonderland If you're a woman, the Gay Days 2006 events calendar leaves something to be desired. Nearly all of the events (other than a few pool parties) cater to the boys. This year, however, does continues to promise more for those ladies looking to strut their stuff. As the festival celebrates its Sweet Sixteen this year, the girls get their own special night at the House of Blues. With world-renowned circuit DJ Kimberly S manning the DJ booth (probably the only "manning" going on), the night should get steamy. "I'm strong, I'm hot and I can spin my ass off," she states on her website. If you can't make it to Wonderland, Gay Days also hosts a Ladies Luau and an '80s dance. It sounds like we better get out our bunny outfit, our hula skirt and our poufy prom dress. It's like Halloween with better, naughtier candy. (9 p.m. at House of Blues; $25; 407-934-2583)


Change Your Mind Day Like anything else, Buddhism can either be very complicated or very, very simple. You can get lost among the Four Noble Truths, the Eightfold Path and the Three Jewels and confuse your samadhi with your samsara, or you can bottom-line it — literally: Sit your ass on the floor and start clearing all the junk out of your head. A simple task, but not an easy one. If you want to learn to let go of all the craziness, Peter Carlson of Orlando Insight Meditation will teach you how at Orlando's first Change Your Mind Day. The very first CYM Day took place in New York, in Central Park, with participants as varied as Alan Ginsberg and Philip Glass. Now a worldwide event, Orlando's debut will include talks on "the Zen of cooking," "the kindness of others" and "bringing mindfulness to daily life," along with tasty vegetarian goodies from, where else, Dandelion Communitea Café. (2 p.m.-5 p.m. at First Unitarian Church of Orlando, 1901 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-645-4183)


Morse Family Day If you haven't visited Winter Park's Charles Hosmer Morse Museum because of rebellious offspring, you are now out of excuses; on Family Day you can visit for free with your rugrats in tow. "Most people think that they can't take kids to a glass museum, but they should grow up visiting local museums … with their parents, of course," said Catherine Hinman, head of the museum's public relations department. The McKean Pavilion plays host to arts and crafts relating to the exhibits, such as stained glass—window creation and pottery-making, while parents listen to live music by Westin Grand Bohemian regular Wes Hamrick. Museum docents lead guided tours on the hour until 1 p.m., or visitors can head off on their own for a scavenger hunt, thanks to special brochures created for the occasion. (10 a.m. at Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art; free; 407-645-5311)


The Heinz Rehfuss Singing Actor Awards It's been impossible for the fever of American Idol not to alter our sensibilities about vocal competitions, and the Orlando Opera has joined the "popular opinion rules" bandwagon this year at its annual event. Young singers/actors from around the country who have moved up in the previous rounds held in Philadelphia, Orlando and New York give it their all this weekend, competing for cash awards and a contract as a resident artist with Orlando Opera. It's an Orlando-based contest that was founded as a legacy to the late bass-baritone Heinz Rehfuss funded by the estate of the legendary artist under the direction of Orlando Opera's Robert Swedberg. In addition to the judges' critical selections, the audience will vote on their favorite talent, who will also be awarded as such. Consider it a highbrow American Idol, and that's a good thing.
(2 p.m. at Dr. Phillips Center for Performing Arts; free; 407-426-1717)



Will's 666 Party While some people may choose to celebrate the day worshiping Satan, sacrificing barnyard animals or watching The Omen, most of us will treat this rare occurrence as an excuse to let our hedonistic side take over (as if we needed another one). Will Walker is one of the people in that second category, and he's inviting everyone to celebrate at his place. Exercise, don't exorcise, those drinking demons alongside some of the hottest demonic go-go girls around. Local artists will have some particularly evil artwork on display, just for the occasion. Asphalt, Vascular Symphony and Mecca Nism and Her Rusty Tears will perform. Sure, you have to go to work the next day, but those devil horns will probably have gone back into hiding by then. (8 p.m. at Will's Pub; $5; 407-898-5070)

Contributors: Jason Ferguson, Amber Foster, Steve Schneider, Lindy T. Shepherd, Jessica Bryce Young


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