;From the Here We Go Again Desk comes this item about Winter Park artist/troublemaker Don Howard. Last time Howard graced this column's pages, it was due to the fact that some ignorant wingnut found Howard's Mayan-influenced artwork satanic and wanted it removed from view at a local Bank of America [Happytown™, July 1, 2004].
;;This time around Howard painted a series of nudes and had the audacity to suggest that the Big Guy also created gay people. The paintings depict a male couple (distinguishable by their units), a female couple (boobies) and a hetero couple (unit and boobies). He sold the originals to a lesbian couple in Wisconsin, but not before collating them into a poster titled, "And God created …," which he intended to sell locally.
;;Howard's poster was generally well-received, says his wife Joanne. But not everyone liked it. When the Hope and Health Center of Central Florida, an HIV/AIDS clinic, hung one up, they got complaints, she says.;
;"People who love it and get it are nuts about it," she says. "But then you have people who object to the ‘God' reference, and the pee-pees.";
;"I think it's funny," she says. "I must be in outer space or something.";
;Actually, no. You're in Central Florida.;;
;From the Follow-up Desk ;comes this item: Thomas Powell, who took over as the Holy Land Experience's CEO two months ;ago after God-TV powerhouse Trinity Broadcasting Network agreed to a "marriage" that wiped out $8 million of Holy Land's debt, has stepped down. Who didn't see this coming? [See "Jesus TV," July 12.];
;The Crouch family handily fired the entire Trinity board on July 9 and replaced them with an array of family characters, making Powell the odd man out.;
;Naturally, Trinity, headed by Paul and Jan Crouch, was mum about Powell's Aug. 22 departure, which wasn't announced until the following week. He also resigned his seat on the park's board of directors, giving the free-spending Crouch family full control of the board. (Bring on the private jets and bad hair!);
;Trinity, which owns 34 TV stations, plans to use its platform to reach a national audience and boost sagging attendance at the park (and add to the growing Crouch fortune).;
;The upside? None, really. Jesus still only loves you if you open your checkbook.;;
;Orlando's mixed- ;martial arts underground is finally getting the recognition it kind of deserves via a new movie being filmed right here. The title – Get Some – will likely doom it almost instantly, but not before you can actually be in the flick.
;;Get Some producers are looking for extras to appear in the "exciting final sequence of this high-energy film." To lure you into spending a day sweating in the sun, they are giving away an iPhone, iPods, Game Boy consoles and other similar swag that will appeal to you if you think this movie sounds cool. Be on the set at Destiny Nightclub, 7430 Universal Blvd., Sept. 9 at 9 a.m. for your chance at celluloid immortality, or sign up beforehand at www.background ;entertainment.com/promotions.;;
;Mention the words "gay love ;triangle" around Happytown™ HQ and you're likely to find yourself in the middle of journalistic circle jerk, victory cookie included.
;;However, even we have been unable to make sense of the double murder–suicide that occurred Aug. 21 at the Orange County home of seemingly affable Republican wonk Ralph Gonzalez. Sure, there's been endless speculation of the unpublishable kind – roll in your Log Cabin closet reference here – and plenty of bloggarhea regarding the political connections and hush-hush lifestyle choices of Gonzalez, not to mention a certain long-winded rumor about the forensically fingered killer, U.S. Marine Jason Drake. Plus, Gonzalez once worked for dog-feeder Sheri McInvale, and don't even get us started on her trail of tears.
;;But what of the third (or is that second?) victim, attorney David Abrami? Yeah, he worked with GOP-zilla Doug Guetzloe, but who ;hasn't? The real question is why a 36-year-old, well-off attorney-cum-operative was "renting a room" from Gonzalez.;
;This whole story makes us crazy.;
;So we took our secular little asses down to the First Presbyterian Church Aug. 28 to snoop on Abrami's funeral. We're assholes.
;;What we gleaned was that Abrami "could get on a friend's nerves once in a while, especially when he was talking on his Bluetooth with the top down on his convertible," that he kept a "blacklist" of foods he would never eat, that he was great with children (he was a great uncle), that he was a prankster as a child, and that he had a dog, whom he loved dearly, named Tara. A minister emphasized that we were all beautiful in the eyes of God, no matter what kind of person we might seem to be.
;;Of note, Florida Today published a report from an unnamed detective working at the scene who called it a "lover's quarrel." Of course, that, and any of the real stinky meat, was later removed from the AP feed, and the Sentinel has kept any and all homo speculation as far away from the light of day as possible.;;
;And speaking of homo specul-ation, our newshound friend Mike Synan, of the butch, right-wing talk outlet WDBO-AM 580, phoned up our own Billy Manes Aug. 29 – he says his bosses made him – wondering where the best place in town was to hunt for gay sex in a bathroom stall.
;;In the grand slow-news-day tradition, the station was attempting a localization of the Idaho Sen. Larry Craig scandal, or at least that's what he said.
;;Manes tells Happytown™ he was offended for 23 seconds, then explained that in the age of Facebook and Craigslist, nobody trolls the shitter anymore. Manes did mention that Orlando Weekly's own bathroom – the one with the autographed photo of Gary Coleman hanging over the urinal – is the single exception left in town. Excuse us, we have to firstname.lastname@example.org
Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.