Ewwww, SCARY! 

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Mask - Accessories

Wow, U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson is one scaaaaaary dude. Those beady eyes. That imposing build. The (now shorn) Rasputinesque beard. The Harvard diploma. The federal deficit—sized ego. He's the liberal under your bed who's gonna come out at night, drink your milkshake and take your handguns! We shudder at the mention of him. (One staffer, Billy Manes, hides under his desk whenever Grayson's name comes up and won't come out until coaxed with a menthol cigarette.)

Grayson sure gave Republicans a start with his summary of their health insurance plan, delivered on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives: "If you get sick, America, the Republican health care plan is this: Die quickly! That's right. The Republicans want you to die quickly if you get sick."

He said that! He really did! Even emphasized the "die quickly" part, just to make sure no one misunderstood. And when Republicans demanded an apology, guess what? He said no! No apology for you! What's more, he twisted the knife by apologizing instead to the people who died because they didn't have health insurance! Do you understand how scary this man is? HE COMMUNICATES WITH THE DEAD!

And if that isn't horrific enough for you, now he's got a website called Names of the Dead ­— www.namesofthedead.com — where he catalogs the stories of people who paid the ultimate price for not having access to health care in the richest nation on earth. Only a truly dark, evil genius could enlist the legions of the dead in beating Republicans at their own game.

So cut out the mask on the cover and glue it to a piece of cardboard — or print the handy PDF from our website — and terrify Republicans in your neighborhood this Halloween. (Use the accessories on this page to customize your costume. It's fun!) Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to go find a menthol cigarette to get Manes out from under his desk.


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