Council Watch 

More Abstract Urban Planning for Downtown, Plus A "Solar Array" For The See Art Spectacle

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The civic casino of super-sized bond issuance swung open its golden doors as the commissioners convened to throw money at their problems this week. A fresh $270 million in tourist tax development bonds, gambled away in the name of all of the new venues and all of the debt service and interest their development requires, was at stake. But, maybe more importantly, Monday marked the beginning of the end of 16 years with Commissioner Daisy Lynum, who is stepping aside to basically appoint her son Juan to her position. Nepotism rules.

The city approves Project DTO, in the name of advancing downtown service.
Translation: Project DTO, unlike the seminal 1987 Helen Hunt vehicle Project X, does not feature a government-owned chimpanzee that knows sign language. It is, however, similarly absurd, in that it seems to be a whimsical knitting circle of civic planning (and branding) intended to determine “a roadmap to achieving the Downtown Orlando of the future.” Hmmm, sounds like Epcot. Anyway, the city is funneling $600,000 in CRA property taxes to the Renaissance Planning Group so that they can launch this speculative, ruminative cloud of nothingness while the rest of us chew on our shoes for bits of protein and meaning.

The city approves the See Art Orlando lighting and solar agreement.
Translation: Because all of Lake Eola is now a lounging naked woman staring at some metal seagulls while disco balls glimmer in the light of a choreographed fountain, the city wants to introduce an air of logic and reason to the aesthetic transcendence. The private funders of the See Art premise, acting as Strengthen Orlando, will pay the Orlando Utilities Commission to install a “solar array” (donated by OUC) atop an as-yet-undetermined downtown building. Said solar array will then power your lakeside nightmares.

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