Actual porn flick titles (some taken from movies) 


Dawson's Crack Porn producers are notorious for cribbing pop-culture references, which makes some of their titles so much more entertaining than the serials "Booty Talk 24" or "College Video Virgins 38." The possible plot here: On a very special episode, Dawson buys cheap lube and gets a bad rash.

Red Riding Crop "The better to beat you with, my dear." And we don't even want to talk about the part where the wolf eats grandma.

Cumspiracy Everybody's secretly trying to screw everybody. Except for the "secretly" part.

Raiders of the Lost Arse "I hate snakes. Except for that python of yours. ... "

The Boob Cage "They'll never know you're a man. Just don't roll over."

I Saw Mommy Eating Santa Claus Admit it. All you want for Christmas is oral sex.

Nymphomercial "It can grill a steak, wax your car and get you off. Now how much would you pay?"

Tom Dickin Harry The feel-up hit of the year! Tom and Harry are the Hanks and Ryan of gay porn! Two thumbs up there!

Genital Hospital "It's nothing to worry about, Dawson. It's just a rash."

Hey, Grandma is a Whore 6 Because nothing succeeds like simple elegance. (Could it be the sequel to Red Riding Crop?)

Actual Movies that lend themselves as Porn Titles

Dude, Where's my Cock Ring?

Ocean's 11 Inches

A Beautiful Butt

Monster Balls

Kate and Leopold and Tom and Greg

The Emperor's New Boobs

The Hand that Rocks the Pool Boy

Big Cock Pee-Wee

Screwing in Cars with Boys

In the Bedroom


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