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A zombie B-movie for people who hate B-movies

Zombieland

Rated:R
Studio:Sony Pictures Releasing
Director:Ruben Fleischer
Cast:Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, Amber Heard
Genre:Comedy
Our Rating:

By John Thomason

Unencumbered by such petty nuisances as a point, a vision or even an ounce of social commentary, Ruben Fleischer’s transparently hollow zombie flick still succeeds at passing the time, even if a good 15 of its 81 minutes are pure filler. Jesse Eisenberg, forever typecast as a fidgety, sexless egghead, roams a colorful, zombie-infested, post-apocalyptic America, with the inexplicably expert ability to slaughter legions of the undead despite harboring a laundry list of inane phobias.

He thinks he’s the only human left uninfected by the zombie-morphing virus, and he’s devised a system of rules straight out of Max Brooks’ Zombie Survival Guide to ensure his solitary existence.

Eventually he meets a lone-wolf curmudgeon played by Woody Harrelson – a short-fused zombie-killer longing for his missing son and a decent Twinkie – and, later, he joins up with Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin as a pair of con-artist sisters headed toward an amusement park in the Pacific Northwest, an area they believe to be safely zombie-free. Enter the requisite limp buddy-movie repartee and even less believable love story in which Eisenberg’s character, the only one drawn with an actual back story and a semblance of depth, matures into a man.

With its multitude of brains splattered by all manner of gun, club, blade and roller-coaster apparatus, Zombieland is like a high-budget Troma film, as problematic as that oxymoron may be. With production values too slick to appease B-movie aficionados and a story too slight to warrant A-film treatment, the movie’s audience is essentially nobody.

You get the impression that Zombieland was made solely for the fun of shooting the 10-minute portion in the middle of the film when the motley crew of survivors crashes the pad of a certain Hollywood star playing, and making fun of, himself. Unlike the rest of the film, this tiny portion is witty, genuine and full of surprises.

Comments on this story:

Report this comment On 9/30/2009 11:01:25 PM, Anonymous said:

I'm embarrassed this heaping pile of dung of a movie was even made. In a world where life has already been devalued in a myriad of ways, garbage like this only helps add to the problem.

Report this comment On 9/30/2009 11:26:28 PM, Anonymous said:

As does your posting 11:01:25. As does your posting.

Report this comment On 10/2/2009 10:53:43 AM, Anonymous said:

You wanted social commentary in a zombie movie? I don't know how you can say that and expect anyone to take anything else you say seriously.

Report this comment On 10/2/2009 11:06:34 AM, Steve Schneider said:

Anon at 10:53: Well, I guess he was referring to the original "Night of the Living Dead" and "Dawn of the Dead," which were made back when social commentary was, y'know, kind of like the entire point of zombie movies.

Report this comment On 10/3/2009 4:46:40 AM, Anonymous said:

"the movie’s audience is essentially nobody." And yet it is getting glowing reviews, and the theater I saw it in was filled with laughter quite often.

Report this comment On 10/4/2009 11:50:55 PM, Anonymous said:

I also like that you didn't, apparently, watch the movie enough to know they were going to LA. Which, last I checked, is pretty far removed from the Pacific Northwest. You also missed the other characters backgrounds, one of which, is actually quite depressing. My entire theater laughed through almost the entire movie. There are parts which are genuinely heartwarming to go with the laughs, a couple of points which are deeply sad, and the whole thing is much more witty than most of the crap that's been turned out in the past year. But of course, well written comedy focused around quirky, likable characters is clearly second seat.

Report this comment On 10/5/2009 5:00:33 PM, Anonymous said:

The impression I get is that, before even seeing the movie, John Thomason decided to not like Zombieland. Maybe that's why he decides it's a relevant criticism that Zombieland lacks social criticism. Maybe that's why he doesn't care if he mentions Tallahassee's missing son. Because, otherwise, I thought that was an interesting reveal later on in the movie that gives you some insight into Woody Harrelson's character's behavior.

Report this comment On 10/31/2009 12:59:00 PM, Anonymous said:

AHAHAHAHA!!!!! YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF FUCK TARDS!!!!! SHUT UP YOU BRAINLESS DOLTS! THIS WAS A KICK ASS MOVIE!!!

Report this comment On 10/31/2009 1:02:01 PM, Anonymous said:

I hate you John Thomason.

Report this comment On 10/31/2009 5:26:22 PM, Anonymous said:

I love the fact that we are supposed to take the word of a blogger who utilizes the words "Fuck Tards" and "Dolts" in the same posting. How about these words "Immature", "Loser", "No Crediblity" to illuminate YOUR posting? Once you get out of the mentality utilized in 8th grade, then a profitable conversation may be had.

Report this comment On 11/2/2009 6:59:52 PM, Anonymous said:

Joy said: I'm as much a fan of political undertones as the next droog. But wouldn't condemning its absence as a rule make it hard to justify the delightfully romping genius in the coagulated, undead vein of Evil Dead, Drag Me to Hell, and Dead Alive (it's been awhile on that one but I don't remember any commentary)? Good enough for Raimi and Jackson has always been good enough for me, but if one isn't tickled to just watch one or several people be the victims of a wizard's brilliant art department than that seems more like a subjective than a quality issue. I think it accomplished exactly what it set out to do, which was show gore-gluts a great time without any distractingly hack writing or casting. But I do respect your opinion. Rodger that, Dodger!

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