BEATdown

Pete Best records his own Abbey Road at an appropriate age for retrospection, not, like, writing "In My Life" when you're twenty-freaking-five you hippie bastard--you know what? I'm better than this. (Calm down, Petey. Remember what the therapist said.) Sorry, what were we talking about?

Just got an email that good ol' Pete Best, (far right. He was dubbed "The Stalker-y One") that unlucky Liverpudlian who was fired from his role as drummer for the Beatles in '62. During recording of their first album, George Martin reportedly thought Best couldn't keep time and Lennon had a problem with him, though Best maintains he was never given a reason. A year later, CBS News in the US would run a segment about "Beatlemania" in the UK.Ouch.So in the meantime, the guy's written a book (The Pete Best Story), tried to kill himself and became a civil servant (UK-speak for federal employee). Not in that order. Oh, and has a wife of over 40 years and grandchildren. So, didn't work out that bad.The press release says this September's Pete Best album, Haymans Green, (named after the club where the Beatles, with Best, played their first gigs) is Best's first album, but that's not quite true.He put out an album called Best of the Beatles (geddit?!) with the Pete Best Combo in 1965, but it flopped badly and violently, mainly because people thought it was a Beatles greatest-hits comp and were not so pleased to hear Pete instead. Whoops. There have also been subsequent "lost" recordings and a live album. Mr. Best was nice enough to include a rundown on what some of the tracks on Haymans Green mean to him. Clearly he's wayyy over that old band. Here are some highlights:"Start Again" - The Beatles baptism of fire in Hamburg. Playing eight hours a night and then partying, recovering just in time to start again. It was gruelling, but made us a force to be reckoned with."Everything I Want" - It's about my life, the measure of it. Even without reaching the dizzy heights of my fellow Beatles, I still have everything I want. A wonderful wife, beautiful children, good friends, health, happiness. Everything thats' important to me. "Beat Street" - The Beatles began to play Mathew Street. The other groups were copying The Shadows, who were very light weight. The Beatles were raw, Rock N Roll. Everything changed on Beat Street, now they were copying us. "Broken" - On the verge of success and international stardom, I had the dreams I helped build with my band mates snatched away. I was left to crash and burn, broken. I chose to stand tall. When I'm Beat you won't see me down, when I'm beat I'll turn it around, or at least I'll try. I think I did. "Red Light" - Hamburg of the 1960s had the largest red light district in the world. We were young men in a rock band, a long way from home, and the girls had a very soft spot for us. We had no complaints. "Haymans Green" - My family home, and one time Beatle headquarters. It sits on top of the Casbah Coffee Club. The house is steeped in memories for me. It has now become the holy grail, of The Beatles trail !!!.

Indorphine drip runs dry

Mark it: today's the day local metal band (and past Orlando Weekly Music Award winners) Indorphine have finally acknowledged what many knew was a foregone conclusion.They done broked up.Jimmy and the fellas were definitely one of the more interesting heavy acts to emerge out of our little scene and we'll keep a close eye on what they move on to. "It is certainly a dark day in the annals of the Central Florida music scene," says the band's rep Tom Player. "We are losing one of the most inventive, most talented, most humble, and most entertaining bands to ever grace the stage. Indorphine�s unique and exceptionally creative blend of sensory-overload in-your-face music has always been set apart from the thousands of �screamo metal� bands by its unshakable foundation of absolute virtuoso musicianship."

The grandest "fuck you" in rap history

Noel Gallagher's a douche. We can all agree on that. Not as big of a knob as Liam, but a knob nonetheless. When it was announced that Jay-Z would headline the UK's famous Glastonbury festival this year, Noel's racist nationalist rant against him made all the papers. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," Gallagher said. "If you start to break it then people aren't going to go. I'm sorry, but Jay-Z? No chance. Glastonbury has a tradition of guitar music and even when they throw the odd curveball in on a Sunday night you go 'Kylie Minogue?' I don't know about it. But I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. It's wrong..." The festival's organizer admitted that he was "sticking out my neck for this," but to their credit, they stuck with their decision. Apparently someone forgot to tell Oasis that rap stars are the new rock stars and do it better right now.Jigga went and proved it this weekend. To open his set, Jay strutted onstage holding a guitar and warbling "Wonderwall" badly. Halfway through, he stopped. "I just got one thing to say." What followed was easily one of the fiercest, most incendiary rap shows in history, rivaling Jigga's own farewell concert at Madison Square Garden. Audio of the entire inspiring concert is available for a free download here.Below, the "fuck you" opening:

R.I.P. Status Ain't Hood

Popped over this morning for my daily fix of the Village Voice's giant (metaphorically AND literally) Tom Breihan, whose rap-centric blog Status Ain't Hood is the web's best source for hip-hop analysis that doesn't just spit out a press release or headline, and guess what? He's gone. Out the door. Out. Much.Apparently he's taken a gig in some other online forum to premiere this fall, and with the looming Voice writer's strike, (as soon as I started writing for them, naturally) it was a good time to jet. Breihan has been a great bouncing board for me over the years. Whenever I hear something that toes the line of great and ridiculous, and can't decide if it's great or ridiculous, Tom's always been there to say "Dude, it's ridiculously great." Of course! Mr. Breihan also contributed to a couple of my Orlando Weekly pieces, always willing to listen to an idea and offer refining advice. He was also nice enough to be quoted for my story on Orlando producers The Runners back in the day. Although Status Ain't Hood will be missed, there are still several hundreds of long-ass posts to sift through, plus 43 podcasts, all of which can be copped at iTunes. Be easy, Tom!

Live Nation's bargain bin sale!

Ah, Live Nation. It's tough being the big-shot ticket retailer, huh? Yeah, Ticketmaster is evil and whatnot, but they made it look easier than it is. Believe me, I know. My full-time job is to convince people to go out on the town and see some music, which they usually don't. Ain't easy. Yesterday, it was reported that Live Nation's Madonna Tour (the one where she sold her soul for a 360-deal) is showing sluggish sales outside NY, forcing Live Nation to defend its $120 million contract with the Material Girl. Seems people have gas tanks to fill.Now I get word that 8 Live Nation shows being held in Tampa over the next few months will sell lawn tickets (general admission) for only $10 a pop (plus service charges - you didn't think those were going anywhere, didja?). Now listen up: tomorrow is the ONLY day to take advantage. By Friday, you'll all have to grudgingly forego concerts altogether, like you are today. BUT, this is a good deal, I gotta admit. The great Monotonix played a legend-worthy show in our own backyard last night, but folks wouldn't shell out $10 (no service fees) per to fill the place, so maybe they will for 311 and Snoop, or Motley Cr�e, or Journey--ooh! Journey! (No homo, I'll fully be there. Faithfully.)Here's the full-on:$10 Shows:Motley Crue's Crue Fest July 3Poison July 22 - Reserved SeatsBrooks & Dunn July 25311 July 27 - Reserved SeatsMayhem Festival (Slipknot & Disturbed) July 29Journey July 30Projekt Revolution (Linkin Park) August 2Rod Stewart August 28 Note:They'll only be available online through Livenation.com (not Ticketmaster).Numbers of tickets available for $10 may be limited on some of the shows... but there will generally be lots available for everything.They're all lawn tickets, except for Poison and 311... the lawn isn't open for Poison or 311, so we'll have a number of reserved seats available for $10 for these two shows...

(NSFW) How I fell in love with Soulja Boy in 4 minutes

This is all it took. One video. One Ice-T impression. One dance.In case you don't pay attention to feuds between rappers who don't matter, Ice-T came out against steel-drum impresario Soulja Boy and the "ringtone rappers" that are ruining the industry. (As if "There Goes the Neighborhood" didn't already ruin everything 15 years ago.) Apparently Soulja Boy's a regular Dave Chappelle. With famous lisp firmly in place, Ice-T gets absolutely pwned by Soulja in this "animated" vid response to Ice-T's comments. The vid and a very NSFW informative pic after the jump:<@jump>Some of my favorite quotes:"I need some promotion. Hm. Hm. Hm.""You know I'm old when I still rock the Iverson jersey. Don't fucking laugh." "I'm out here killin' crime and shit!" The most incredible piece of parody this year, however, comes at about the 4 minute mark, where a sobbing "Ice-T" confesses to Soulja that he wants to be relevant again, so he makes his own dance. Cut to an '80s clip of Ice-T actually breakdancing. Badly. Conclude with a bunch of kids shouting "Ewwwww!!!!!"Pure. Fucking. Genius.

Tidbit: Girls go cross-eyed their first time

So there's every chance this is old, but it's still fascinating. A video of (Australian/British/my uncultured ass can't tell) girls getting it for the first time; and by "it," I mean waxed. Note: this is totally tasteful and fully clothed. It's merely a social experiment, similar to observing the "O" face. So most of you who clicked on this will be disappointed. But the faces are sheer brilliance. One girl literally goes cross-eyed. The best bit? What I can only assume is a porn star hops on the table ... on all fours. Wonder what she was there for? The conclusion? Steve Carrell is a giant pussy. But you already knew that. Sorry, no embed, but the vid is here, thanks to collegeslackers.com.

God or Julie: Maybe the worst band in music

Alright, listen. There's bad and then there's some next-level type shit, that circle of hell where 30-year-olds with black eyeliner and nose piercings and moussed hair pretend they're rocking out when really they're breaking out their middle-school love letter ramblings, updating the message from "I really want to kiss you" to today's more relevant "Don't cut yourself to feel just 'cause Daddy loves you too much. Hang in there," and then pawn it off as emo.God or Julie are one such band, and possibly the worst at it. At least My Chemical Romance could plausibly be pulling an ironic joke. These guys? Oh, they believe their own shit. Harrrrd. Check out the snapshots from their video for their single, "Say Your Last Goodbye." (I know, right?! Look at that sparkly guitar!!) If you're brave, watch the whole vid, embedded below.Oh, and they'll be at the Social July 20. Yay!!! Look for my cohort Jeff Billman and I to be there with bells on. Bells that chime "you suck!"

Local tracks that are dope: Rocwell

UPDATE: Rocwell was kind enough to provide my un-hip ass a 'Lambogenidoze' definition:LAMBOGENIDOZE is pronounced as you say it, but spelled, Lamborghini Doors, speaking on how we herein the south put lambo doors on old school cars and fix them up to become street trophies and express one'screativity from M&M to Skittles design, Sponge Bob Square Pants to Pepsi, Jordan logos. Lambo Doors open lifting up towards the sky when you open your door versus tradional and in the hoods/streetsthe average person cannot afford a Lamborghini, so in an imaginative sense, this is that Benz, or BMW for themand it is celebrated as it cruises down the streets. For years now, Rocwell, the Orlando MC with the Southern drawl and ambition the size of Amway Arena has been surrounding himself with the best (and sometimes mediocre-est) in local hip-hop. So much so that it can often sound like insecurity.For example, Rocwell's last LP, Evolution: The Birth Of Diversity, was listed as a Rocwell LP. But Solillaquists of Sound frontman Swamburger, who produced every track on the album, also guested on all but 3 tracks. Swam (a terrific MC whose omni-presence anywhere else is always welcome) was everywhere, his verses stretching out on the couch and getting quite comfortable, until sometimes Roc was left with less than a minute -- at the end of the song -- to get his voice heard. In effect, his solo album was hijacked, albeit from highly capable and creative masterminds.From the looks of it, he doesn't intend to take a back seat again. "Lambogenidoze," the first track off his upcoming (un-originally titled) album Anger Management, is a Miami-screwed declaration that Florida is the "Chevy Capital of the World." Despite listening to the song several times now, I still have no clue what exactly "lambogenidoze' is, but the track is a surprising departure for Roc. Gone are the awkward conscious-lite flu dream streams that never fit the Orlando native the way he (and probably his friends at Nonsense) probably wanted them to. With this more traditional cars-n-bitches boast, Rocwell finally seems comfortable in his skin and confident in his rightful place in O-town as a champion of the local scene. In an interesting tie-in, Rocwell is giving away his custom Chevy (sittin' on 22s, of course). Buy the song for a dollar to be entered to win. Below, the vid:

SHOCKER: R. Kelly not guilty on all counts

Ladies, lock up your daughters. Perennially pervy (and at times awesome - read our defense of the creep here) R&B star R. Kelly has been found not guilty on all counts of child porn and sex with a minor, despite a widely-distributed and cringed-over video that clearly shows a man who looks exactly like Kelly having, you know, sex with a minor (she was 13, people). And peeing on her. And the dead-eyed girl calling him "Daddy."The defense's case was built on the fact that the man in the video did not have a large mole on his back, which apparently, Kelly has. The singer was facing 14 criminal charges and 15 years in prison.The prosecution's case was built on THE GIRL IN THE VIDEO SAYING IT WAS R. KELLY and, like, 14 other people testifying that he's a total freak.Oh, and in case any of you Sentinel commenters read this story, the jury consisted of 9 men and 3 women; 8 were white and 4 were black. So don't start.Also, Tim Russert died of a heart attack. Maybe cuz he heard this news before the rest of us. He'll be sorely missed.Below, a sampling of the fun we've all had at the innocent man's expense:

AW, SHIT: Melted Men show is $5, ya'll

Correction to previous info on Melted Men and Scud Nipples show touting it as free. Nothing's free, idiots. Not even free shows are free. Think on that one for a minute and a half. Here's the real deal:Friday, June 13 at 10 pm Event Phone 407-623-3393Event Location Stardust Video & Coffee1842 E. Winter Park Road Orlando [Map It] 407-623-3393 Parking lot Ticket Info $5