What You're Doing Tonight

My head's still bruised and my ears are still ringing from that Jucifer show last night ... WHAT? SPEAK UP!!!

• A little acoustic-y twang is probably the right medicine. The Nine Volts, Lonesome City Travelers, Token Gamblers and Ted Lucas will deliver just that tonight. [Will's Pub]

• The ever-loving garage-pop of the Empyres is always a good bet. On a bill with the Lagues, the joke-punk of Tooth & the Enamels and Atlanta rockers Street Violence though? Unpredictable. [Copper Rocket]

• John Mayer's playing in Tampa. Does it need to be reiterated that he's a pretty cool dude with a great sense of humor, admirable guitar prowess, and completely shit taste in songs? [St. Pete Times Forum]

• Goatwhore is opening for Suffocation and Devildriver. I have a hard time recommending Devildriver to anyone, but holy shit Goatwhore's a great metal band. [Firestone Live]

• Q-Burns is throwing a "Valentine's Ball" version of Club Queso, with the usual suspects on board. [with Atnarko, Sleazy McQueen; Peacock Room]
  

Local music YouTube fun.

A couple of fascinating self-made vids from some local artists started my morning the right way just now, so I figured I'd share. I thank both of these acts for helping to wipe away the memory of a dream (true story) in which OW's Steve Schneider spent hours – perhaps days – listing off the myriad ways that I suck at life. Steve, you haunt me, pal.

The first is a cheeky rendition of the Black Eyed Peas' intolerable "I've Gotta Feeling" travesty by a group called Rabbit! (with the exclamation point). You know them. Former Bloom member Devin Moore and former Big Sky-er Ashton Allen started up the group with an eye toward selling jingles to commercials, and they did – that's them in the Honda Insight commercial last year singing "We. Are. All in this together."

Now they've added a couple of ladies (including OW cover girl Emma Jean Branch) and make happy music. Kinda like a white(er), pastier version of the Peas. In the clip, they manage to thread the needle of kitsch expertly and, vis a vis literal reenactments, point out the surreal absurdity of the song's lyrics. Check it out:




This next one comes from Miami singer-songwriter Tristan Clopet, who expertly covers Vampire Weekend's "Cousins" with high-flying, Buckley-esque shred gymnastics.

What You're Doing Tonight

• Jucifer, Jucifer, Jucifer, Jucifer, Jucifer. Good God and all that is holy, Jucifer's back in town. If you're not at this show and don't have a really good excuse (like I do ... my wife's gonna go into labor any.minute.now, which is seriously about the only thing that would keep me from this), you do NOT like heavy music. [with the Ludes and Swamplord; Will's Pub]

• B.B. King and Buddy Guy [King Center - Melbourne] -- I wonder if Eric Clapton will call either of them up on his new cellphone?

• There's a Haiti benefit at Back Booth with RUG, Louis DeFabrizio, Buffalo Gun, and Clayton Senne.

• Goodie Mob??? In Orlando? In 2010? Hell yes. [with Solillaquists of Sound; Firestone Live]
  

The 5 songs Oscar snubbed

I think it's safe to say that these couple of days, for film critics who view their job as one giant run-up to a Vegas-style craps game of trophies that they themselves have little-to-no effect on at least, are downright orgasmic times of prognosticating. The Oscar nominations have been announced, and nobody takes them seriously, but who are the haters to stomp on the fun?

I align closer to New York Times crit Manohla Dargis, who once said, "Let's acknowledge the Oscars are bullshit and we hate them," before adding the most hilarious "But..." I've ever seen.

In that spirit, here's my "but": I like the Best Song category.

Yes, it's pretty roundly despised, even by nominees like Peter Gabriel who railed against last year's 3-minute medley-as-tribute-slash-kiss-off. Even in our own offices here the category is disregarded utterly. (You won't hear estimable dining editor Jessica Bryce Young drop many four-letter words until you bring up Best Song.)

But I always defend it as a throwback to a pastime when musicals (a personal favorite genre of mine) ruled the roost. Sure, they've gone horribly astray – sometimes – but it's a particularly crass exercise in subjectivity-rendered-authoritarian that I've always cherished, half-embarrassed.

The sheer gall that it takes to award West Side Story the Best Picture but shut it out of any Best Song nominations – a tragedy that also befell The Music Man(6 noms, none for Song) the next year and My Fair Lady (8 wins including Best Picture, none for Song), AND The Sound of Music a couple years after that (5 wins including Best Picture, none for Song) – I could go on and on – is the kind of head-burying stupidity that demands a certain mouth-gaping affection.

That's not to say it always epic-fails. You can't hate a ceremony that gives hardware to the songs of yesterday that have come to define the cultural condition: "Over the Rainbow," "When You Wish Upon a Star," "Lose Yourself," or "It's Hard Out There For a Pimp." (What!)

This year's crop, however, is one of the most depressingly tone deaf in a long time. (Samesies for every other category.) You get a double-dose of Randy Newman's New Orleans trash (from The Princess & the Frog), a token song from Nine (granted, "Take It All" is the most tolerable in a crop of historically awful tunes from that musical), the lock-in favorite from Crazy Heart (good film, wrong song) and a very French jaunt that puts Nine's faux-Italia to shame (but won't win).

No thanks. For your consideration, here are my five that were far more memorable (for various, and not always elegant reasons), IMO, of the over 60 songs that met the Academy's stringent rules and clauses:


"Other Father Song" (from Coraline) – Hated the movie, but this was a 26-second bright spot by They Might Be Giants.





"Smoke Without Fire" (from An Education) – I admit, this was my favorite movie of last year. I also admit that I think Duffy should win every award for everything ever. Still...amazing song.

Sing for Mario, Pay him too, bitch.

You remember Mario Winans, right? Bad Boy producer/underling, CeCe's nephew? Had that amazing single several years back, "I Don't Wanna Know," that sampled Enya and then faded into obscurity faster than you can say, "So...he's a Winans but not, like, a Winans?"

Yeah him. Well, he's still all about the benjamins these days: Two and a half of them, to be exact. And he's willing to part with that sweet sweet small-percentage-of-your-monthly-rent dough to find that perfect singer that he can sign to a deal that could translate into an entire month's rent worth of pocket change!

On Feb. 27, Winans and an entourage of knob-tweakers who call themselves the Dream Big/Hustle Hard Firm will be at Lux Ultra Lounge on I-Drive in search of the Next Great Whatever. The winner of the night receives $250, which they'll need to drive their asses to Miami for the "finals" in May.

You must be 18 to enter. OH! And I almost forgot. You must pay $100.

I went through the process of "registering" for the scam before I found out that little tidbit. Why did I register? Because there's always a catch. And you have to commit before you'll find it.

Why does Orlando seem to draw these sucker takes? Seriously, most "talent searches" are scams, yes, but if they're stopping through our town, you can bet it's extra scuzzy.

For shame, Mario. Now go back to your little hole you crawled into in 2004 and stay there.

The Poe Oh Seven

If we were half as clever as Poetic of local rap troupe Treal, believe we'd have long overused "the Poe Oh Seven" in reference to the Orlando economy. But we aren't. Poetic is.

Instead, the term signifies the (soon-to-be, I'm sure) all-encompassing website for all things Poetic. Earlier this month, the rapper launched Poe Oh Seven in an effort to connect with fans and inevitably get flooded with digital show posters for other people. (Also to debut Poetic's new single, "Stuck in My Head,")

Acclaimed Winter Park composer dies

Winter Park resident and beloved composer Howard L. Richards died yesterday. PARMA, the record label that proudly considered Richards one of their flagship composers, released an obituary today, along with one of Richards' selections. Click here to read and hear. PARMA's statement is reprinted below.

PARMA's very good friend Howard L. "Dick" Richards passed away on January 27, 2010. Dick was a highly talented musician and man who was equally facile as a composer of orchestral, vocal, and chamber music and as an engineer, a job he performed with RCA for its legendary "Living Stereo" line. Dick was finalizing the liner notes for his new release of choral music on PARMA imprint Navona Records; the music was recorded this past summer and final touch-ups were done in December - he was pleased with every note of the music and was looking forward to recording his next project, "The Paris Suite." He will be greatly missed, and we are better for having his music in our lives.

Bob Lord (CEO, PARMA Recordings)

What You're Doing Tonight

• Just get out of the way, because there's gonna be a shit-ton of awesome going down at Back Booth tonight.

• Oh, and Surfer Blood is doing an in-store at Park Ave, too!

What You're Doing Tonight

There are only five shows you need to worry about this weekend:

• Christopher Cross [Saturday @ the Plaza]

• Ronnie Burrage Trio [Saturday @ Timucua White House]

• Super-motherfucking-suckers [Sunday @ Firestone] (Seriously, I couldn't be more stoked about this; not only because the Supersuckers are probably in my top 5, but also because the lineup of locals – Elephant Gun, the Ludes and a Zoa/Stainboy/Slashers clusterfuck called Hot Mouth – is completely amazing.)

• Haiti Benefit with Mike Dunn, the Pizza Brothers, Thomas Wynn, Louis DeFabrizio, Christian Wilson and Lauris Vidal. I've got some issues with rock show benefits, but these are all great guys/great bands, it's an indisputably worthy cause, so I'm gonna keep my trap shut. [Sunday @ the Social]

• Drivin' N' Cryin', the Ludes, and Thomas Wynn [Monday @ Will's] Yeah, you read that right, Drivin' N' Cryin' is playing Will's, and yes, this was just announced a week or so ago. And yes, you will be hungover at work on Tuesday. (For the record: never a DNC or Kevn Kinney fan – call it a side effect of growing up and coming of age in a college town in the southeast and getting a little burnt out on hearing the simultaneous sounds of collars popping and red solo cups dropping to the strains of "Straight to Hell" – but he's still a pretty cool guy, a great songwriter and is well-loved in this town for all the right reasons.)

What You're Doing Tonight

• Say farewell to Bughead. Nathan Adams is busting out of cell block 407. Bid your adieus along with Disco Biscuit. [Copper Rocket]

• More local blues: Jim O'Rourke had to hit the ER recently, and although he's okay physically, guess what? It's gonna cost him a shit-ton of money. O'Rourke is a pretty integral part of Orlando's rock scene, so do him a solid and pay the door cover, drink a lot of beer and rock out with Vomit Pop and No Circus. Someone (me?) will be most definitely be leading a midnight "FUCK THE VOTERS OF MASSACHUSETTS" toast. [Will's Pub]

• Hope you didn't spend your metal budget on that Anvil bullshit out at HOB the other night. Want to take in some real deserving-of-rescue-from-obscurity shit? The almighty Pentagram (!!!!) is playing. With Gates of Slumber (!!!!!!!) [Firestone Live]
  

• Govt' Mule [House of Blues]
• Leo Kottke [The Plaza Theatre]
  

What You're Doing Tonight

• The best metal band in Orlando (and, I swear to God, maybe the best band band in Orlando) Junior Bruce brings their hurricanefighterplane of awesome to downtown tonight. Swamplord opens. [Back Booth]

• Of Rob Weddle, Nicole Kidman says "Oh my god, what a voice." Really, what else do you need to know?  [The Haven]

• The Anvil Experience [House of Blues]

• The Downgetters [Will's Pub]

• Bob "Stormcrow" Sanders [Cameo Theatre]