You may have noticed that a mean little blog I posted yesterday about the Boy Scouts is completely finito. Apparently some Chinese bots have attacked our website (multiple times) and every time we have to revert to previous saves. Hence lost. Forever. It's not worth it to me to repost and re-research, so sorry. And until the bombardment stops and I feel yellow-threat-level secure again (help me, W!) I'm not so big on posting more. Stay tuned. It'll get better. I'll be back soon with more inane ramblings about Lil' Wayne and all that shit.

Squalor!

Justin

Now, I'm not one to shit all over the embattled FMF. True, the commercialism can be a bit much and the pickings can get slim at certain points but, as my colleague Mr. Le-Huu puts it, it's still a local music event. (Coming next week: FMF on a recession)

I will say, though, that going through the schedule (and yes, I listened to every single act on the schedule that I hadn't heard before), the day shows on Saturday are glaringly, defiantly WJRRish. In fact, the first show I'd say you really need to be there for is Jacksonville instrumentalists Antarctic at Back Booth ... and that's not 'til 7.

Chris Cucci to the rescue! The local Post Records founder, along with Aknoten Ent. has organized what they're calling the 1st Annual Fuck Florida Music Festival Festival.

It's a free show, it's at a residential house, and goes ALL AFTERNOON Saturday, May 17 (3 p.m. - 8 p.m.)
The location will be given at this blog next Fri or Sat. morning, so stay tuned!

Lineup:
Strangers!
Max Green!
Slippery Slopes!
Swirling Bees!
Gatorface!
Monikers!
Virgins!
Tres Bien!
Mumpsy!
SKIP!
Tigerstyle! (the awesome Orlando hardcore band, not the awesome Bhangra-hop group)
DJ Diddles!

UPDATE: Our astute calendar editor, Avery, just informed me that the full Motley Crüe is playing July 3rd in Tampa, and Sebastian Bach will be playing July 22nd ... in Tampa.


Oh. My. Gawd.

Yeah, that's great and all that Kanye & NERD rocked Tampa's Ford Ampitheatre yesterday.

And so Tampa turned around the very next night to host Radiohead. (Tonight at 6:30)

Fuck Tampa!

This just came in...

UCF Arena hosts Summer Metal Fest '08 on Saturday, June 14!

Featuring:

Vince Neil of Motley Crüe! (not with Motley Crüe!)
Skid Row! (without Sebastian Bach!)
Slaughter!

Tickets are only $40 - $60!!!

Orlando, don't let this opportunity pass us by. When great acts like this come through our city, it is our duty to support it and show everyone that this is a rock town! We have the chance to pay exhorbitantly to see the scraps of formerly great hair metal bands while the real deals play an hour away only a month later!

Fuck yeah!!

Seriously, though, this is pretty disheartening.

OK, so I haven't heard much from you guys ...

Again, here's the drill: local awesomes Baron Von Bear want to let you in on their process for jamming on, developing and tweaking one of their songs until it's album-ready! They want comments, suggestions, criticisms, anything you can throw at it. So give a listen and let it wash around your head for awhile.

Also, check out my in-depth (or at least, I like to think so) look at the band themselves in next week's OW, hitting newsstands Wednesday, May 7. And then see them live with a pit orchestra AND a magician at their CD release party at Back Booth May 10.

Until then, here's BVB singer Joey Bordenga with his take on "Doomsday," version 2.0:

Hi!

So here's another version of this little ditty. It's still really rough; we're sort of struggling just to get through the song, but you should be able to hear some of the individual parts start to form. At this point we switched over to a little better recording gear so we could hear things better. Also, you'll be able to hear us fumbling around for something like a melody. The lyrics are gibberish and the guitar parts are mostly made up on the spot sill. Hopefully a song will come out of this somehow!

Joey

photo by Camm Rowland


Yelling.
Spitting.
Non-stop movement.
Anxiety battles.
Friendly banter.
Gym shorts.

The above-mentioned are a few things that the rambunctious Yea Big+Kid Static promise for Back Booth tonight (with Kap; 10 p.m. $8) as they attempt to out-thump that obnoxious club next door. This hip-hop duo encompasses multiple genres within their exclusive sound including: rap, jazz, electronica, indie, roots and more.

Half of the Chicago-based team is Stefen Robinson (Yea Big). He tantalizes eardrums with beats comprised of hooky melodies and danceable rhythms coated with subtle SFX in a funky field all of their own. His cool counterpart, Moses Harris Jr (Kid Static), nails everything from smooth LP-worthy vocals to crazy-cadenced raps, with relatable lyrics that are anything but redundant.  With those powers combined, audiences will feel the insatiable need to groove.
Yea Big says, “If an audience is feeling our sound and our energy, they'll get it. And if they're not feeling it, we just have to work harder. And if they still don't get it, they're probably aliens in disguise.”
Even an extraterrestrial, however, would notice Yea Big’s novelty yellow gym shorts that top off his Juno-esque getup.  They’re garish, cool, comfortable and showcase mucho leg hair. Orlando, we need more leg hair. Kid Static rocks a suave urban ensemble, but if Yea Big had his way, things might look a little different.
“I think I would have Static wear some kind of robot costume. Not a harsh-looking costume with rough corners - more like a giant, plush, robot teddy bear with a huge, soft head with a blinking mouth and eyes.”
Despite the cost of travel and their oodles of MySpace hits, Big declares, “Touring is a must. When people see a band they like live, they get wrapped up in the show and become real fans and friends - not just electronic consumers. We, and any band worth a shit, want to make real connections with people - the type of connections no one can make over the internet.”  
At all of their crazy shows, KS and YB are selling their 3” single CD called “Eatchyo Samwich” in tasty sandwich-shaped sleeves.
Presentation is everything.

Gee, thanks guys.

It was announced this morning that Jacksonville's favorite indie rockers the Black Kids signed to Colombia Records and will be releasing their major label debut, Partie Traumatic, in July. They'll be touring the world for the rest of the year. You know where they're NOT coming?

Florida.

From the press release:

Black Kids are brother and sister Reggie and Ali Youngblood, Dawn Watley, Owen Holmes and Kevin Snow.  Childhood friends from Jacksonville, Florida, the four had been making music with each other and separately (but never in their current state) for a number of years before forming Black Kids and coming to prominence shortly after posting four songs on their MySpace page.
The band spent the first four weeks of 2008 living, playing and recording in the UK. Tours with Kate Nash and Sons and Daughters, significant Radio 1 support, and an appearance on Later with Jools Holland rewarded their decision to trade in the Florida sun for the oppressive and damp English winter--their debut single “I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You” debuted at #11 on the UK singles chart.  After two months of non-stop touring the band entered the studio with ex-Suede guitarist Bernard Butler and pounded out Partie Traumatic.  10 tracks of all killer and no filler.
Skipping any break, the Black Kids finished recording and flew straight to Southern California, performing a euphoric show at Coachella to kick off their first U.S. tour.  The band play their fourth consecutive sold out date this evening in Seattle with co-headliners Cut Copy. Their tour ends Sunday March 18th in New York City at the Bowery Ballroom.  (Get tickets now as it will soon sell out.)
 
Full tour dates below:
 
04-30 Seattle, WA - Neumos *#
05-02 Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge *#
05-03 Denver, CO - Larimer Lounge *#
05-05 Omaha, NE - Waiting Room *#
05-06 Minneapolis, MN - 7th St Entry *#
05-07 Chicago, IL - The Abbey *#
05-08 Detroit, MI - Magic Stick *#
05-09 Toronto, Ontario - The Phoenix *#
05-12 Boston, MA - Paradise *#
05-13 Brooklyn, NY - Studio B *#
05-15 Washington, DC - Black Cat *#
05-16 Philadelphia, PA - Pure *#
05-17 Baltimore, MD - Sonar *^
05-18 New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
06-01 Middlesbrough, England - Middlesbrough Music Live
06-02 Oxford, England - Oxford Academy
06-03 Cardiff, Wales - Clwb Ifor Bach
06-04 Glasgow, Scotland - King Tut's Wah Wah Hut
06-06 Manchester, England - Academy 3
06-07 Lancaster, England - Library
06-08 York, England - Fibbers
06-09 Sheffield, England - Carling Academy
06-11 Stoke, England - The Sugarmill
06-15 Norwich, England - Norwich Arts Centre
06-16 Northampton, England - The Soundhaus
06-18 London, England - ULU
06-23 Tromoya, Norway - Hove Festival
06-25 Stockholm, Sweden - Accelerator Festival
06-28 Glastonbury, England - Glastonbury Festival
06-29 Oxford, England - Wakestock Festival
07-02 Nottingham, England - Rescue Rooms
07-03 Leeds, England - Cockpit
07-05 Liverpool, England - Barfly
07-10 Brighton, England - Concorde 2
07-11 Canterbury, England - Lounge on the Farm
07-12 Naas, Ireland - Oxegen Festival
07-13 Kinross, Scotland - T in the Park
07-19 Dorset, England - Camp Bestival
08-01 Chicago, IL - Grant Park (Lollapalooza)
08-10 Jersey City, NJ - Liberty State Park (All Points West Festival)
08-14 Salzburg, Austria - Frequency Festival
08-15 Erfurt, Germany - Highfield Festival
08-20 Newcastle, England - Academy
08-21 Bristol, England - Thekla
 
* w/ Cut Copy
# w/ Mobius Band
^ w/ Ponytail

I don't even have a comment on this shit, although OW Art Director Shan Stumpf helpfully offers this visual image: "I wonder if he does one of the girls behind his back." Again, ewwwwww!

A videotape said to show rock guitar great Jimi Hendrix having sex with two women The 11 minutes of footage of a man resembling Hendrix cavorting with two unidentified brunettes in a dimly lit bedroom is packaged in a 45-minute DVD distributed by Los Angeles adult-film studio Vivid Entertainment. Vivid, which also distributed the notorious sex tape of actress Pamela Anderson and rocker Tommy Lee, among others, said in a press release that its Hendrix footage was shot about 40 years ago in a hotel room and was unearthed by a rock 'n' roll memorabilia collector. Hendrix, considered one the greatest rock guitarists of all time with such hits as "Hey Joe," "Purple Haze" and "Foxy Lady," died in 1970 at age 27 in London. "This new movie shows that Jimi Hendrix could have been as great a porn star as he was a rock star," Vivid co-chairman, Steven Hirsch, said in the release. Vivid said it consulted with several experts to authenticate the footage, including Pamela Des Barres, author of the book "I'm with the Band: Confessions of a Groupie," and Cynthia Albritton, better known as Cynthia Plaster Caster, famed for making plaster molds of celebrities' genitals, including those of Hendrix. Both women appear on the DVD, titled, "Jimi Hendrix the Sex Tape," offering their commentary. was released for sale on the Internet on Tuesday, following a wave of stars, alive and dead, showing up in homemade porn.

Just in case you've been living under a mineral matter of variable composition lately -- or just have things to do -- Baron Von Bear are the newest entry to the immensely rewarding Orlando indie-pop scene. The quintet combines elements of Band Marino with tons of artistically challenging goodies thrown in for good measure, from Neil Young to Southern gothic folk, Brian May to Volt Records horns, and even some showtunes. Listen below:



They'll be profiled in our pages coming up on May 8 in anticipation of their CD release show for their self-titled EP on May 10 at Back Booth. It's the kickoff to a Florida-wide tour with Band Marino and Rachel Goodrich.

And they need your help.

The guys thought it'd be a good idea to post one of their songs-in-progress here at BEATdown and let local music lovers hear the progression of the track and even offer opinions on what direction it should go! So comment away you shy bastards.

Here's what singer/guitarist Joey Bordenga says about it:

Ok so I'm a bit nervous about putting up a demo for all the world, or....parts of Orlando to hear.  I hope, through the shoddy recording and loose playing, you'll be able to gain some insight into the way we, Baron Von Bear, write songs.  I'm not sure myself, really.  This particular song started from a usual garage jam session.  We set up a Powerbook to capture the idea.  The parts came together rather quickly, considering the dance party ending is something of uncharted territory for us.  Hopefully we'll be able to pull it off - by using a mix of booty shaking and just the right amount of disco power.  We'll see.
--Joey

So without further adieu, here's the first demo cut for Baron Von Bear's "Doomsday 2."

It's funny: this series started off as a play on how much salivating Internet coverage music writers were giving to Lil' Wayne, who has been my favorite MC for some years now. I never really thought people cared about him much until, for some reason, everyone did. Now that there's actually a reason to write about him, I gotta admit, it's about 31% less fun doing so. Regardless, the man is golden. So here we go:

Rolling Stone magazine named Lil' Wayne music's Best MC in their May 2008 "Best of Rock" issue. Here's a clip from the write-up:

He's a compulsively listenable dude who will sometimes sing (badly) and rhyme in French; a five-foot-six-inch bundle of energy spitting left-field references — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Bill Laimbeer, tooth fairies — and consistently great punch lines: "My spot remain, like a bleach stain, or cranberry/It's murder she wrote, like Angela Lansbury." He's been getting stranger lately, too, turning out stream-of-consciousness flows and trippy flights of fancy like the amazing mixtape cut "I Feel Like Dying," on which he sounds seriously zonked: "I can mingle with the stars and throw a party on Mars/I am a prisoner locked up behind Xanax bars." He may be all over the place, but this is certain: Lil Wayne — a.k.a. Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., a.k.a. the Pussy Monster, a.k.a. Weezy F. Baby — is one of the most unusual rappers of all time. And right now, he's the best around.

The only surefire way to refute their claim that he's the best rapper would be if, somehow, he had a smash hit. Historically (Eminem excepted) the best rappers were not by any means the most successful.

Oops:

Reuters reported only an hour ago that Lil' Wayne's single "Lollipop" has become Weezy's first-ever #1 Billboard single.

Lil Wayne has made 20 appearances on the Hot 100 since 1999, most of which have been via collaborations. As a lead artist, his previous best showing was with "Go D.J.," which peaked at No. 14 in November 2004.
His album, Tha Carter III, has shifted release dates on numerous occasions and is now expected June 10.

Finally, listen to him hilariously barge into Usher and Beyonce's awkward love fest like a creepy third wheel with its pants down on "Love in This Club Part 2."

"At Subway!" It haunts me. It tortures my cavernous tummy. I can't stop singing it in my head, and thusly, being overtaken by a Pavlovian instinct to kill whatever gets in my way.

I must have the $5 foot long.

At least I'm not the only one, judging by the rapid viral response videos deeming my disease a "curse." And we can always count on Slate to analyze said phenomenon in an intelligent and irreverent way. Although the more I read of this piece by Seth Stevenson, the more Seth morphs into my next turkey & swiss-flavored victim. In my mind, of course. I wouldn't ... you know ...

The dope line of the week is:

"Five. Five dollar. Five dollar footlong. It's c-c-catching on."

Tune in May 9 to watch the Doggfather act his way out of a paper bag -- and maybe throw someone down an elevator shaft, gangsta style -- when he guest stars on One Life to Live! Sources from the show give us his character's Beat Sheet (geddit? anyone?)

Snoop appears at the bachelorette party of Adriana Lord and bumps into Bo Buchanan who gave Snoop his first acting break.

I'll post pics in a minute when our image host isn't being a two-timing, double-crossing bitch that must be killed in a staged car accident. Church.

View older posts in BEATdown