Breaking: South Carolina has no sense of humor!
Democrats have refused to allow Stephen Colbert on their primary ballot, even though he paid the filing fee. Related: South Carolina sucks ass.
Florida necrophilia suspect just had the urge to crack open a cold one
Just in time for halloween, CBS47.com is reporting on the arrest of a man in Citrus County for attempted necrophilia.
Kevin Wade Daley is accused of trying to get another man to help him commit the murder.
A Citrus County Sheriff's Office spokesperson says investigators uncovered the plot during a two week investigation.
They say it started when Daley struck up a friendship with a man over the internet.
The alleged victim's name has not been released."
Larry Craig, Filthy Panties and a Bear, oh my!
Of course we don't know it it's true, but it sure is gay and dirty: Wonkette's running (ew) with this story of not being "clean" in Larry Craig's guest room 20 years ago. Heavy on lurid details, you might want to let your lunch settle before reading along.
Hey Paultards, check this out!
Stephen Colbert is polling 12 percent as a third party. He actually outperforms all GOP candidates in legitimate polling among young voters. Can Ron Paul beat that? Um, didn't think so.
Jane Healy, fashionista
The Orlando Sentinel's edit board took time out of its busy schedule to remind you kids that it's bad form to wear baggy pants, and maybe you should get a haircut or something while you're at it. Because the "fashion" "trend" started in prisons, and as such anyone who doesn't wear their britches according to Miss Jane's standards is emulating prison culture, and that is very very bad.
Happy Creation Day, Everyone!
According to a fundie website, today is the 6,010th anniversary of the day God created the universe! The science is totally impeccable. Don't try to refute it, haters (that includes you, Mr. Monroe, and your cult Church of the Subgenius).
Happy Creation Day!
MBI vs. OW coverage from around the web
Here's some links to various blogs and news sources from around the web that have reported on the arrests. The list is not comprehensive; I haven't included articles that we've referenced before. I'll add more as I find them.
"Cops invent super Prostitute and then raid local newspaper."
http://freestudents.blogspot.com/2007/10/
cops-invent-super-prostitute-and-then.html
Orlando MBI Trying To Pull A Pee-Wee
http://dr.xnlb.com/blog/342/orlando-mbi-trying-to-pull-a-pee-wee/
MBI vs. Orlando Weekly raises a red flag
http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/news_local_namesblog/2007/10/
well-mbi-thats-.html
3 'Orlando Weekly' Managers Arrested for Accepting 'Prostitution' Ads
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/
article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003660898&imw=Y
CENSORSHIP? Orlando Weekly Adv Dept Arrested
http://www.democrats.org/page/community/post/JBCallahan/CZfg
Were Orlando Weekly Arrests Retribution for Critical Reporting?
http://aan.org/news/were_orlando_weekly_arrests_retribution_
for_critical_reporting_/Aan/ViewArticle?oid=195632
Orlando Police Trying To Prosecute ORLANDO WEEKLY
http://www.tboforums.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/3126/
3 from Orlando newspaper advertising arrested on prostitution charges
http://craigscrimelist.org/archives/78-3-from-Orlando-newspaper-
advertising-arrested-on-prostitution-charges.html
Orlando Weekly shouldn't get happy ending
http://media.www.centralfloridafuture.com/media/storage/
paper174/news/2007/10/22/Opinions/
Orlando.Weekly.Shouldnt.Get.Happy.Ending-3045578.shtml
(This author thinks we're in the wrong. Too bad he or she can barely construct a complete sentence. UCF, you need to copy edit your J-school kids a little more carefully.)
Orlando Weekly employees arrested in prostitution case
http://uncleandy.newsvine.com/_news/2007/10/19/
1036316-orlando-weekly-employees-arrested-in-prostitution-case
Gives a New Meaning to the Want Ads
http://journalism.about.com/b/a/000244.htm
Orlando Vice
http://thephoenix.com/TheFreeForAll/
Yet More Alt-Weekly Employees Arrested
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/newspapers/
yet_more_altweekly_employees_arrested_69519.asp
To be continued ...
Orlando Weekly statement on the MBI
Oct. 19, 2007
Statement regarding arrests of Orlando Weekly staff
Orlando Weekly believes these arrests are an outrageous abuse of process and an attempt to censor the First Amendment rights of
a newspaper that has reported critically on the Metropolitan Bureau of
Investigation. We are in the process of reviewing the charges and
retaining counsel.
For more information on our investigative reports about the MBI, go to www.orlandoweekly.com.
Rick Schreiber
Publisher
---
More information coming very soon. - Billman
I need to clear something up
We've written a lot about Steve Mason, and the Sentinel's story listed him as "Orlando Weekly's attorney" in today's paper. That could give the impression that he's been our attorney for a long time, and presents a huge conflict of interest. So here are the facts related to that situation.
Steve had never done any OW related work until yesterday afternoon. I was on the phone with him when I found out about the arrests, when at the same time the publisher called me to ask me if I had any local attorneys who could help us out. So I put Steve, who knows the MBI's tactics better than anyone, in touch with Rick. I do not know if OW has put Steve on retainer for this case. I know there have been talks to that end, but that decision-making is above my pay grade. But Steve was trying yesterday to help us figure out what was going on, and as such he did talk to the MBI and the media on our behalf.
OW/MBI story on Reason.com
Our plight has made it to the Reason.com blog.
Read it here.
Calling all reporters
Want to do a real story about the Orlando Weekly and the MBI? Here's some background for you:
Our little gestapo, June 12, 2003
Score one for the MBI
Comply with open records law? Not the MBI
Those lovable moralitiy police (second item)
Another swing and a miss
MBI busts handjob ring, proud of self
Operation overexposed
Payback is hell
Dirty politics
The morality police
An immodest proposal
The MBI has arrested three of our employees
This afternoon, three of our personnel were arrested by the Metropolitan Bureau of Investigation, on charges related to our publication of adult services advertisements.
At this time, we have no official comment on this matter. However, as the situation unfolds, we will keep you all updated.
You can read the Orlando Sentinel report here.
Watch this blog for updates.
Mitt Romney refuses to pay for his vanilla steamer
Holy crap I love Wonkette.
A lesson in loaded language
The Sentinel's Daryl Owens just posted this blog on the paper's site. Give it a read and tell me if you see a little, um, bias seeping through. Here goes: Thousands of protesters organized by
anti-war group United for Peace and Justice are expected to rally in
Orlando and in 10 other cities on Oct. 27. But they won’t be alone. Military supporters including a pro-troop group known as the
Gathering of Eagles plan a counter rally to decry what they see as
anti-war negativism and to trumpet strong support for the troops.
Organizers with United for Peace, which, according to its Web site, is "a coalition of more than 1300 local and national groups throughout the United States who have joined together to protest the immoral and disastrous Iraq War and oppose our government's policy of permanent warfare and empire-building," anticipate the Orlando event will be the largest peace rally ever held in Florida. Groups such as CODEPINK, a women-initiated grassroots peace and social justice movement working to end the war in Iraq, stop new wars, according to its Web site, are anticipated, and the event is expected to draw protesters statewide and from Alabama, Georgia, and the Carolinas.
"Americans in Orlando and across the country will take to the streets to reiterate their message, loud and clear— end the U.S. Occupation of Iraq and take war with Iran off the table!" the United for Peace web site explains. "The action, called for by United for Peace and Justice, reflects many Americans’ increasing lack of faith in political leadership to fulfill their pledges and to explore every option in ending the American quagmire in Iraq, such as cutting the war funding."
Groups such as the Gathering of Eagles, see the anti-war rallies mated with pro-troops rhetoric as hokum.
"You can't support the troops and embolden the enemies against the troops," says Deborah King-Lile, Florida coordinator of the Gathering of Eagles, a national group dedicated to preventing desecration to veterans’ monuments. Groups such as the Eagles must turn out and be seen at these events, she says, so that "eventually somebody is going to cover us and the word is going to get out that this vocal minority is setting policy."
The rally will be from 12:30 p.m. to 4 p.m., and will queue at the northeast corner of Lake Eola Park and include a 3-mile march.
Scheduled speakers include Maurice Robert "Mike" Gravel, a former Alaska senator and current 2008 Democratic Presidential candidate, best known for waging a successful one-man five-month filibuster that forced the Nixon administration to compromise, effectively ending the draft in the United States.
Ok, where to begin. Problem one: Labeling one group as "military supporters" and "pro-troop." I'm not the world's biggest CODEPINK fan, but Jesus, I don't think they're secretly rooting for our troops to get blown to smithereens by an IED. What exactly does pro-troop mean? Could it possibly mean not wanting them to die in the middle of another country's civil war? Problem two: This Gathering of Eagles group, which I must confess I've never heard of, has a mission supposedly of preventing monument desecration. That's fine by me. I mean, my dad served in Vietnam and lost some good friends there. I would hate to see the monument this country built to honor them desecrated. That said, who the fuck do these people think they are to tell us that we're emboldening the enemy? More to the point, what J-school did Daryl Owens go to that taught him it was OK to let activist groups say blatant falsehoods without a fact check? Point: "a vocal minority is setting policy." If whatsherface from this group can show me one fucking poll taken in the last six months that shows demonstrable support for George Bush's Mesopotamian adventure, then fine. But it doesn't exist. And Owens should note that, rather than letting this woman smear antiwar types as kooks.
Just saying.
So what are you doing for Halloween?
Check out our Halloween events calendar here.
FYI, the site is only showing events one week out, so just use the handy dandy calendar on the right to select specific dates.
P.S. If you have a Halloween event going on, send it to me at listings@orlandoweekly.com asap!!
Dr. Laura's biological error
Remember Dr. Laura, the ninny who said that homosexuality was a "biological error" and who made a big deal of the fact that her son was going in the military and who spends every day lecturing people on how to be better parents? Well, guess whose son is in trouble with the Army folks for having a myspace page deemed "repulsive."
Oh, beautiful irony. "The MySpace page, publicly
available until Friday when it disappeared from the Internet, included
cartoon depictions of rape, murder, torture and child molestation;
photographs of soldiers with guns in their mouths; a photograph of a
bound and blindfolded detainee captioned "My Sweet Little Habib";
accounts of illicit drug use; and a blog entry headlined by a series of
obscenities and racial epithets.
The site is credited to and includes many photographs of Deryk
Schlessinger, the 21-year-old son of the talk radio personality known
simply as Dr. Laura. Broadcast locally on 570 KNRS, "Family Values Talk
Radio," the former family counselor spends three hours daily taking
calls and offering advice on morals, ethics and values."
Filtering stupidity on the internet - not just a beautiful dream anymore.
Boing Boing reported yesterday on a new software project simply called StupidFilter.
The premise is simple - there's too much stupidity on the internet, and we need tools to help us separate the signal from the noise, much like spam filters (supposedly) separate the important emails from the penis pills.
They predict that the project will be in alpha by December.
You can check out some of the hundreds of thousands of stupid comments that they are using to train the system here.
OPD: Does God exist? Let's find out!
Whether you believe in the Big Guy
or not, you gotta admire our city's men and women in blue. Standing (or
kneeling) around isn't enough for City Beautiful cops; they want an
answer to the ultimate question, and they want it now, gosh darn it, or
at least 40 days from now.
So they came up with this awesome deal God should not be able to turn down: If the Orlando faithful say an hour of prayer each day for the next 40, God helps us with our crime problem. We pray, criminals go away. Quid pro quo.
Now the faithful (and the Sentinel,
natch) see only the gathering, but miss the obvious question: What if
nothing happens? What if crime goes up? What if it goes down? If, 41
days from now, Orlando churches are empty and bars are full because
crime rates skyrocketed, can we all blame the Orlando Police? What if
we aren't praying enough? What if God really wants two hours a day for
50 days, rather than one hour for 40?
Clearly this experiment is not designed intelligently enough (sorry) to pass muster as a sixth-grade science experiment, but let's forge ahead anyway. If it turns out we have another Great Disappointment of 1844 on our hands, well, so be it.
We'll keep track of the stats and let you know how it turns out. Should be interesting.
Here's the OPD press release announcing the pray-a-thon. By the way, whatever happened to the idea of keeping church and state separate?
ORLANDO POLICE DEPARTMENT
PUBLIC INFORMATION OFFICE
100 S. Hughey Avenue, Orlando Florida 32801
Sergeant Barbara J. Jones
Office (407)-246-2403 FAX NO. (407)-246-2732
MEDIA RELEASE
Date of Release: October 9, 2007
Time of Release: 11:30 A.M.
Date: October 10, 2007
Time: 11:30 A.M.
Location: Parramore Heritage Park
Event: “Operation Armor All” (OPD Chaplains Initiative)
Summary:
The chaplains are asking citizens to join them in 40 Days of Prayer to
reclaim our city from violent crime. “Operation Armor All” is
being launched on Wednesday, October 10, 2007 and will run through
Sunday, November 18, 2007. They are asking churches of Orlando to
commit to pray diligently for these 40 days. Forty (40) churches
are needed to commit to one of the 40 days to lead a one-hour prayer
and praise time in a target community.
The first 40 days will be at the new Parramore Heritage Park located at
the corner of Church Street and Parramore Avenue. Churches may want to
include praise and worship or prefer a prayer walk around the beautiful
park.
The Faith-based community has asked to get involved in making Orlando a
safer city. This initiative as with Neighborhood Watch, Citizens on
Patrol, and other volunteer programs is another way to engage citizens,
who want to make a difference in our community,
Contact for this event /media release
Andrew T Wade
Senior OPD Chaplain
407-246-3029 (office)
407-808-6471 (cell)
Visiting Sarasota?
Don't swear. Don't cross-dress. Don't spit on the sidewalk.
They'll arrest you.
John McCain's daughter is kinda hot
And semi-literate too! She and some gal pals started a brand new "bloggette", dedicated to following daddy around and telling us all how totally awesome he is.
These guys have a God helmet, and they're not afraid to use it.
This article on Scientific American's site argues that neurological abnormalities might be the basis of religious experiences. Certainly not a new idea, but what I found most interesting was the fact that some of these fellows had built a helmet that focused electromagnetic fields on certain areas of the brain, and were able to stimulate religious experiences at will:
Persinger thus argues that religious experience and belief in God
are merely the results of electrical anomalies in the human brain. He
opines that the religious bents of even the most exalted figures—for
instance, Saint Paul, Moses, Muhammad and Buddha—stem from such neural
quirks. The popular notion that such experiences are good, argues
Persinger in his book Neuropsychological Bases of God Beliefs (Praeger
Publishers, 1987), is an outgrowth of psychological conditioning in
which religious rituals are paired with enjoyable experiences. Praying
before a meal, for example, links prayer with the pleasures of eating.
God, he claims, is nothing more mystical than that."
Man, I want one of those helmets.
Strong stomachs required
Pom Pom's Teahouse and Sandwicheria is resurrecting their infamous Grossout Food Challenge 9 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 16. (We mentioned the last one here.) If you're the type who can't wait to dig into a big bowl of haggis or a plate of hog maws, c'mon down and compete for $5. If, on the other hand, you get a kick out of watching other people retch, it'll cost you $7 to watch. Let's hope, for the cleaning crew's sake, that the proceedings are a little more like the Travel Channel's Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern than Fear Factor.
Weird
Check out this study by Psychology Today: Strippers make more money when they're fertile, less when they're on the pill, and even less when they're hanging with Aunt Flo. So if you ever feel compelled to stuff a 20 in a dancer's G-string, chances are she's ripe for baby-making.
The Attack may have just made the best video ever
It's no secret that I have a deep and abiding love for the punk rock that the Attack plays. It warms the cold chambers of my old heart to hear blistering shit like that coming out of Orlando.
Anyway, they made a video for their song "Time to Collect." It is, quite possibly, the best video ever made.
Time To Collect - Video!
Steve Albini's current favorite band
I'm not kidding. According to Matt Gorney, who just hung out with him for an entire day, Albini couldn't shut up about how awesome Texas band the Complete is.
After watching this video for "Hot as Hell," I can't possibly disagree.
Drunken Monkey
I've been hearing a lot about the Drunken Monkey, the new coffeehouse over on Bumby between Livingston and Amelia – and I mean A LOT, like I was almost starting to feel the backlash before I'd even been there. Then this dispatch came in from our newest food writer, Holly Kapherr:
This place is incredible … [they serve] a host of homemade soups (some vegan, some decadent – the crab bisque was INSANE) … There's a signature brew called the “Mojo Jojo,” which was created by the owner. It consists of the French roast coffee, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, nutmeg, and (three of my magic words) sweetened condensed milk – it was unbelievable. … I was so excited about not having to pay $4 for coffee that I had butterflies.
And just like that, my cranky backlash feeling subsided and now I've got to get my hands on a Mojo Jojo.
The word is out!
And if you don't get the Jermaine Stewart reference there, then you're not gay enough.
Anyway, Vanity Fair just published it's Lou Pearlman piece today (we... okay, I was consulted for it but not of much help beyond florid allusions and nervous winks), and although I haven't read it in its entirety yet, this seedy round-up from the New York Post's "Page Six" does a fair job of stating the obvious in the most nauseating way possible. Enjoy!
Okay here's a teaser:
"Tim Christofore, a member of Take 5, recalls that during a sleepover at Pearlman's house, the music czar swan-dived onto his and another boy's bed and wrestled with them wearing only in a towel, which came off. 'We were like, 'Ooh, Lou, that's gross.' What did I know? I was 13,' Christofore told Vanity Fair."
That is gross.
UPDATE: I've just recieved a fax of the full text from Vanity Fair's NY HQ, and it's 11 full pages of reasons why Orlando should be ashamed of itself. Remember, this was the person we assigned with rebuilding downtown. It just so turns out that he also happened to have photos of naked boys in hottubs filling up his file cabinets. Nice.
Those hip kids are really hip!
Hey everybody, look! Your favorite right-wing radio station just discovered this web site thingamajig called Facebook. Did you know that this site is popular with the kids? Did you know that you can "write" on people's "walls", and that apparently there are lots of people who put pictures of themselves doing really stupid things and posting all sorts of shit about who they hooked up with last night on there? Now you do! It's totally bitching.
"Guantánamo Bay is the anti-Statue of Liberty"
Thomas Friedman's Op-Ed column in today's New York Times has a great and overdue thesis: "9/11 has made us stupid." (And it's nice to finally be able to read the Op-Ed section online – hooray for the demise of TimesSelect.)
This part is particularly apropos for Orlando:
So, maybe once it sinks in that Bush-league Republicanism is not, in fact, helping the bottom line, Orlando's business owners will change their voting record?
Meta
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Review: Restaurant - Four Rivers Smokehouse
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