Video: Protest at Publix

If you shop at Publix, the Coalition of Immokalee Workers would like you to know that you are supporting a store that exploits immigrant workers by refusing to increase the price it pays for tomatoes by one penny per pound. According to the CIW, workers are paid the same rate today they were in 1978, between 40 cents and 50 cents per 32-pound bucket. At that rate, a worker has to pick 2.5 tons of tomatoes per 10-hour day to earn minimum wage. Think about that the next time you cruise the produce aisle.

CIW says the Nov. 1 protest in front of the Publix on East Colonial was just the start of a statewide tour. Check out the video shot by roving reporter Lindy Shepherd.

Breaking: Biteboy to save fountain!

This just in from hot shoe reporter Billy Manes, who is down in the halls of city council sniffing out details and dispatched this dispatch via his Bloggytown celluphonic news transfer device:

Biteboy, Orlando's favorite "gurgling pool of awful," is going to help save the Lake Eola fountain! What, you don't remember Biteboy? Neither does anyone with any musical taste. But you may recall that, besides a complete lack of talent, they have a penchant for inserting themselves into public situations in the fervent, and likely futile, hope that one day they'll get their 15 minutes. They made asses of themselves on a rented trailer in front of Casey Anthony's home, they hung out with Lou "Jabba" Pearlman, and now they're going to fix your fountain. And all they ask in return is that you buy a CD, which is really too much to ask.

Details to follow.

RIP, Reax

May we have a moment of silence, please, for the passing of a fine publication … thank you. No, we’re not talking about the Orlando Sentinel. We said “fine” publication. (Oh god, we kill us.) We speak of the late print edition of Reax, a statewide music mag full of piss and vinegar. We loved the attitude and the beautiful layout, and we were jealous of their full-color format. The Tampa-based publication called it quits with its 40th issue, which featured lit-geek rockers the Decemberists on the cover.

Publisher Joel Cook says it may not be the end. “I’m actually weighing my options right now,” he wrote in an e-mail. “I’ve had a few offers come to the table. I’ve turned down a few, but keeping options open. There have been talks of syndication, but it takes time and the will. I’ll keep you updated as things go down. It really comes down to what I want to do next. We’ve built a hell of brand and don’t want to tarnish it. I’m excited about what comes next regardless.”

GOP: We gave you black folks everything

What a giddy joy it is to see the new GOP.com web unveiling, designed, I can only imagine, specifically to steal Obama's Health Care-victory attention today by doing something so hilariously inept that you can't help but look at them.

The new website, which crashed so hard today from neck-craning onlookers that the Obama campaign’s former online guru, Joe Rospars, told TPMDC: ‘You know your web program is in trouble when your site can’t even handle the traffic bump from people making fun of your web program.’”

Then GOP leader Michael Steele went on TV and said, "it's not really a web site."

Could've fooled me.

To be fair, it's not a website: It's a train wreck of desperate African-American vote-grubbing that reaches so far back into history for anything nice to say that I swear I just heard Frederick Douglass tell William Henry Harrison to "go fuck himself" for that lame-ass Haiti envoy appointment.

The first thing that struck me is the "GOP Faces" campaign (pictured above) where they show how black people love Republicans and the GOP responds in kind by making one's bald head the "O" in GOP. Nice.

The other thing you have to see is the (short) list of black people in history who were Republicans. Like so far back in history that it's in the same way Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, back when that didn't mean, you know, "Republican." In fact, Lincoln is shoved over to the second page of names to make room for more black people!

Finally, the delicious main entree: Things Republicans Did For Blacks; a friendly reminder, apparently, that the GOP deserves some payback. From "We had some black guy build us a statue and then let him look at it" in 1863, to "We freed you people" in 1864 to "We ended segregation forever" in 1957, the new GOP takes credit for all of that. Bitch.

After 1957? Ummm.... "We got rid of welfare!" Ouch. "Bush tax cuts!" *cough*. "Vouchers?" ... "Alright, we're just gonna go over here and TELL YOU JACKIE ROBINSON WAS A REPUBLICAN! Eh?"

Too bad the dancing Michael Steele has apparently been removed. Now that's entertainment. Take it away, Iron Mike!!



Oh wait, it crashed again.

"The following is a message for old people"

Growing bolder? Growing boomier? Sucking up Social Security and Medicare like there's no tomorrow? But there's something missing. Your kids are on Facebook, but they deleted their accounts when you friended them. And let's not talk about what happened on Match.com.

What's a social-networking-curious silver fox to do?

Welcome to GrowingBolder.com. It's about attitude! (or so the logo says; we'd say, judging from the looks of the site, it's about not scaring anyone away with pre-Year 2000 web design.) In fact, it reminded us a lot of this:

ACORN in Vitter's Side

With masturbatory master-scribe Jeffrey C. Billman now well and truly gone (sigh), it sure has been quiet in this little fallout shelter of textual bloviation.
Not anymore! Motherfuckin' Sen. David Vitter -- actually, hooker-fucking Sen. David Vitter -- just got called out for trying to call out an organization for almost doing exactly what he always did: engage prostitutes in unthinkable acts. The Louisiana gadabout was apparently well known on Canal Street for being, well, a politician, meaning somebody in midlife crisis mode who pays for sex. That whole D.C. Madam thing from a two years back managed to sweep itself under the rug, as these things do, but now that Vitter has decided to open his yap about ACORN and its intention to sell the Baby Jesus into a life a whoredom, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington have gone and filed a Bar complaint agin' 'em. You can read the press release below, or you can try to figure out the whole Vitter-to-critter-to-acorn logic employed in finding the image above. Either way, it's a good day!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE                      CONTACT: NAOMI SELIGMAN

SEPTEMBER 29, 2009                                     
nseligman@citizensforethics.org



 CREW FILES BAR COMPLAINT AGAINST SEN. VITTER



Vitter Seeks Investigation of ACORN for Assisting Fake Prostitution Ring;
CREW Seeks Investigation of Vitter for Role in Real Prostitution Ring



Washington D.C. - Today, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in
Washington filed a bar complaint with the Louisiana Office of Disciplinary
Counsel against Senator David Vitter (R-LA) for violating Louisiana's rules
of professional conduct for lawyers.



In 2007, it was revealed that Sen. Vitter's telephone number was included in
the so-called "D.C. Madam," Deborah Jeane Palfrey's, list of client
telephone numbers.  The senator confirmed he had sought Ms. Palfrey's
services, saying in a statement, "this was a very serious sin in my past for
which I am, of course, completely responsible."  Two other women also
alleged Sen. Vitter had engaged the services of prostitutes.  Jeanette
Maier, the "Canal Street Madam," claimed Sen. Vitter visited the New Orleans
brothel several times in the mid-1990s.  In addition, a woman who worked as
a prostitute under the name of Wendy Cortez said Sen. Vitter was a regular
client of hers between July and November 1999.



Under D.C. and Louisiana law, it is a crime to solicit for prostitution.
CREW filed a complaint against Sen. Vitter with the Senate Ethics Committee,
which dismissed the matter without action in September 2008.



Louisiana Rule of Professional Conduct 8.4(b) provides it is professional
misconduct for a lawyer to "commit a criminal act especially one that
reflects adversely on the lawyer's honesty, trustworthiness or fitness as a
lawyer in other respects."  By repeatedly committing the crime of soliciting
for prostitution, Sen. Vitter violated the rules of professional conduct for
lawyers and should be investigated and disciplined for his misconduct.



CREW executive director Melanie Sloan stated, "Sen. Vitter's zeal to see
ACORN criminally investigated for offering advice in setting up a
prostitution ring reminded me he has yet to be held accountable for his own
role in a prostitution ring.  While ACORN's conduct is indefensible, so is
Sen. Vitter's and what is good for the goose is good for the gander."

13 former prostitutes were forced to testify at the trial of the DC Madam,
who committed suicide shortly after her conviction.  Sloan noted that one, a
former Navy supply officer and Naval Academy instructor, lost her job
because the Navy requires those who serve "to adhere to a standard of
conduct that reflects the Navy's values of honor, courage and commitment."
Sloan said, "It is a shame the Senate has no such standard of conduct.  It
will be interesting to see what sort of standard the Louisiana Disciplinary
Board chooses to apply."

Remember 'Hollywood East'? So does this psycho!

Now listen, Orlando city planners, don't get your panties in a bunch over this but...

Your savior has arrived!

The latest to exploit our fair city's never-ending eagerness to dive headfirst into the cesspool of Los Angeles has produced a number of hysterically hillbilly attempts at fashioning Orlando into "Hollywood East." The term gained traction in the early '90s when second-rate TV shows like seaQuest DSV and some Hulk Hogan actioner actually filmed locally. Then again later that decade with The Blair Witch Project.

It's been a long, empty decade for Orlandoans with starfuckers in their eyes, but now it's time once more to get out the sharpie and slap on the "Hollywood East" sticker thanks to the pioneering, sociopathic and downright hilarious efforts of one John Campbell (pictured above photoshopped onto Air Force One - his doing, not ours).

According to the free-designed webpage at Wix.com, Campbell, who has set up shop in these parts, claims "ORLANDO IS THE NEW HOLLYWOOD." His plan in full?

"Hollywood East announces that it is working to secure the 50 acre Centroplex site in downtown. Hollywood wants to develop it for use by Hollywood East, Inc. - and for the headquarters of its flagship - STAR TV network." Who? No, not the Rupert Murdoch-owned Asian network. STAR TV is more, shall we say, imaginary.

"Star TV is our flagship TV network. Our goal is to be the 5th big network," says Campbell at his Angelfire Wix.com homepage, completely ignoring the CW (alright, that we get).

Campbell also plans to "buy and assimilate the entire Disney organization," and, in case your crazazy radar isn't off the charts quite yet, Campbell claims to be in on Buddy Dyer's endgame and thinks it can be improved.

"Mayor Dyer and his team have done a great job in bringing the Creative Village concept to life." (The what? Exactly.) "I think the mega studios of Hollywood East, Inc. and Star TV would be a better fit for the 50 acre Centroplex site," claims Campbell.

See what happens, Orlando, when you build it? They come.

Campbell's site is a literal web of fuckingnuts with a shit-ton of other, equally psychotic Campbell sites to peruse.

There's this one, his 2008 Presidential campaign home. Then this one, in which he claims to have started the "unofficial church of Walt Disney World." Oh, and let us not forget this one, where he -- well, let's let John Campbell tell it:

"I'm an apostle, and it's my job to see the big picture. Most apostles and prophets agree that we've entered a new age in the Church. It's called the Day of the Saints - a day of global shock and awe. The Kingdom of God is on massive offense - and it's the job of every Christian to promote the Gospel of the Kingdom."

Did I mention this is John Campbell's "Official Business Plan?" Yep.

"Hollywood East is positioned to provide America with pro-God, pro-family and pro-America content." "Our vision is to create The New Hollywood in Orlando." "Our goal is to be listed on the NYSE and eventually buy the Disney Company."

Campbell signs off with the following:

"You keep believing, Orlando!"

The sad part? We will. Over and over and over again.

More on this to come, believe that. Until then, check out this Billy Manes article from last year about the actual state of the local film industry (hint: it's wicked meh) and the millions upon millions our governors have spent this decade trying to change that.

Inauspicious Photo: Joel Boner

You may recall our recent coverage of the brutal murder of a homeless, possibly gay 30-year-old named Joel Boner. The defendant in the case, 19-year-old John Hawthorne, allegedly attacked Boner outside his tent at an Ocoee homeless camp, stabbing Boner in the back as many as seven times. Hawthorne is out on cheap bail with a GPS anklet awaiting trial (additional depositions were logged on Friday, Sept. 4); Boner is dead. You can read his uncle Lon Boner's updates in the comments section of the story, but he sent us this photo of his nephew (center) as well, which should help put a face to the name. Not exactly the bogeyman sociopath one would expect to be hunted and killed like sporting game, then.

"New Voices," old tricks...

 Verifying the old adage that "opinions are like assholes, and everybody's got one" -- ALSO a Salt N Pepa lyric! -- the Orlando Sentinel published and asshole opinion piece this weekend called "The health-care debate deserves and honest forum" under the auspices of its "New Voices" demographic olive branch: "a forum for readers under 30." Sure, fine, this is where young upstarts are meant to bloviate for 600 words or so about current events that they typically have no control over, because, well, their hair isn't graying yet. It's a harmless bit of Weekly Reader-dom designed to assuage a certain segment of the ad-perusing public and give "power" to the "kids." Harmless.
The problem with this Sept. 5 piece, located on page A19, was that it didn't really appear out of the thin air of youthful concern, but rather out of the the typing fingers of a known Republican operative, Kristen Soltis. Soltis -- as it is partially pointed out in print, but not online -- is the director of policy research for the conservative Winston Group in Washington D.C., and also former intern for the National Republican Congressional Committee who has been known to blog. Sure, she came up in these parts -- "I was born and raised in Orlando, graduated from Cypress Creek High School and the University of Florida, and moved to the nation's capital after college," she writes, "... to see how policy is made and change, implemented" -- but even from D.C. she feels herself qualified to comment on the nasty Democrat-"stacked" health-care town hall held by U.S. Rep Alan Grayson, D-Orlando, last month at that grimy union hall. Health care reform is bad! Democrats are evil! She wasn't there. She isn't even a registered voter in Orange County. She is, therefore, a young expert.
Also, she is paid to do things just like this: paper-airplane in rhetoric to editorial boards in hopes that they don't hit up the Google. It worked.
Orlando Democratic state rep., Scott Randolph, fired off a missive to the Sentinel on Saturday pointing this out. "After attending three health care town hall meetings with Alan Grayson, I am growing very weary of these attacks, and unfortunately, this paper just allowed itself to be fooled," he wrote. "This person is nothing more than a paid staffer to write to papers around the country and complain about town halls."
So, while stumping for a "new way of doing business" in her "New Voices" piece, Soltis is effectively dog-earing the playbook of the old guard. If she -- and the violently shaking heads of Republican discontent -- don't have their way, Grayson's gonna git it!
"If he won't listen to his constituents now," she writes, "you can bet that voters will make sure he hears them in November 2010."
Attn. all politicians: political ads are now free at the Sentinel!

RPOF defends the crazy

So here it is, like one day after I first broke the little tidbit about the crazy-ass press release Florida GOP honcho Jim Greer sent accusing Obama of some sort of grand communist conspiracy for, you know, telling kids to stay in school. It's gotten a lot of play these last 24 hours, and here we have party flack Nicole Katie Gordon defending Greer's absolute stupidity to TPM.

Disney acquires Marvel, replaces "vixens" with "princesses"

Editor's note: The following is by Adam Simon, an Orlando-based "geek culture" enthusiast. Enjoy.

What can you get for $4 billion in a recessed economy? How about mutant powers and radioactive spiders? Monday's announcement that Disney has signed the deal to acquire Marvel for $4 billion in cash and stock got nerds everywhere chattering their braces together.

The day-to-day operations of Marvel's comic book publishing are not supposed to change significantly. There are no official plans to soften the stories and characters to come more in line with the Disney wholesome family image, but can we really expect to continue to see the Punisher hook jumper cables up to a criminal�s scrotum and zap his balls until he shits himself if Mickey is going to merchandise that scene into a playset with chocolate candies?

Comics, especially superhero comics, especially Marvel superhero comics, are all about high-powered violence and sexist exploitation. That's why I read them.  Consider the poor future of the She-Hulk. Often naked through contrived plot device or shameless exhibitionism, her powers actually include a super powered libido. Compare her to Jessica Rabbit and the trouble Mrs. Rabbit caused for Disney due to her perceived sexiness (I say �perceived� because I find it distracting when my women have one eye).

Once upon a time, there was a book called Seduction of the Innocent detailing the lewd horrors of comic books and the effects it will have on us: destroying our culture, making our children rape the elderly, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! Of course, this was bullshit, but it led to the Comics Code Authority, an oversight committee that all comics had to get approved by before they could be published. That's why Joker went from serial killer to stealing children's report cards and crashing birthday parties and taking Hostess Twinkees.

Maybe I'm being negative about this, but you don't have to be brilliant to see the future here. At first Marvel tames their stories a little voluntarily, not wanting to ruffle feathers. Then they start to relax a little more under the new Rule of Rodent. Then Hank Pym does something all Hank Pymy, like smack a bitch in her underwear while wearing the outfit that Disney has invested millions merchandising into costumes, action figures, movies and cartoons.

Now you have the attention of a group of professional whiners out there somewhere who whine to Disney and get on the local news, then the major news, who pick up on the irony of family friendly Disney funding the promotion of domestic violence. Twenty-four news cycles love irony, especially if it seems like it might endanger your kids with something you trust your kids with. Promises are made and issues are recalled. A cursory oversight is set up. It's just two guys in short sleeve button-ups and suspenders whose only job is to ask the question: Is this good for the COMPANY?

Bob:  Hi, I'm Bob and this is Bob. We're here to be your friends and act as sort of a go-between for your creative process and upper management. We're cool like you. We like comics. Love that Incredible Bulk!

Writer:  Uh ... yeah. So anyway, in this next issue we're going to have a love scene that's kind of risque and I wanted to run it by you. It's all going to be tasteful and off panel, but basically, Hank Pym is going to shrink down to about three inches tall and do jumping jacks in his wife's snatch before asking her to do the same up his ass.

Other Bob: I'm going to have to say no to that one.

Writer:  Ok, well we're adding a cautionary tale in a Spider-Man comic coming up. A kid gets molested, off camera of course, and Spider-Man convinces him to ask for help by relating his own tale of being molested as a child. It'll give kids who have suffered someone to look to and hopefully get them to tell an adult if they're in that type of trouble.

Bob:  You want to make Spider-Man a molested kid? Under the type of scrutiny we're under? I don't think so.

Writer: The only other comic I have is my Giant Size Man Thing, but there's nothing objectionable about �

Other Bob: Yeah, I don't think so.

Speculation turns pretty negative when I do it, but Ike Perlmutter, Marvel`s chief executive officer, is far more optimistic in the presser.

"Disney is the perfect home for Marvel`s fantastic library of characters given its proven ability to expand content creation and licensing businesses. This is an unparalleled opportunity for Marvel to build upon its vibrant brand and character properties by accessing Disney`s tremendous global organization and infrastructure around the world."

"Expanding content creation" and "building upon brands and characters" sounds good to me. Marvel has over 5,000 characters, but the only well known ones are a dozen like Spider-Man, Hulk, Iron Man and Captain America. Marvel has already laid the ground work for getting those 5,000 out and available to people that want to see them. The storyline of the 50 State Initiative, assigning a superhero team to each state, has potential for expansion. They've started churning out animated direct-to-DVD films at breakneck speed, a realm in which Disney is unparalleled in experience. The superhero movie boom has not shown signs of slowing as Marvel Studios has released 27 movies in the last decade with another 11 in the works. With Marvel's characters and Disney's bankroll, it could be a bright future for comic book fans.

This isn't the first time that Disney has purchased a comic book company.  In 2004, the Mouse bought out Tampa-based publisher CrossGen, a company that featured stories outside the normal realm of spandex such a military science fiction space opera and magical fantasy folklore. Originally, Disney had planned to license the characters for projects and merchandise, but found it a better deal to just buy the whole company. While nothing came from then-rumors of movie adaptation or even continued publication, there's nothing to hint that Marvel is going to be shut down and packed away considering the revenue stream as opposed to bankrupt CrossGen.

The possibilities are not lost on Orlando Weekly's perennial "Best Of" winner, Aaron Haaland.

  "There were some great books from CrossGen in the early 2000s like Meridian and Ruse," the Haaland said in a phone interview. "We talked to Marvel about it recently in the last hour. They don't think it will mess with the editorial experience, but will give them a lot more leeway with cancellation and profit margins. This will let them publish more experimental or mature titles; things like Vertigo. There's very little money made in the actual publishing, but there's a buttload of money made from the intellectual properties that come out of it in movies and merchandise. And DC is owned by Warner Brothers so it's not that big of a deal."