But did you know that, in addition to all of these prodigious accomplishments, Mitchell is also a proud supporter of the Orlando International Fringe Theatre Festival?
OK, that’s only true if you believe in J.J. Abrams-style paradoxes that allow folks to commune with their best buds at all points along the space-time continuum. But if you do, you’ll find it easy to swallow the idea that Mitchell, back when she was still just a sprout of an undergrad, was able to see into the future and know that the Orlando Fringe would one day be run by her BFF, Beth Marshall. And that she would approve.
You see, Marshall and Mitchell were once mutual drama queens at Stephens College in Columbia, MO, all the way back in the tender year of nineteen-coughs-and-changes-the-subject. And we’ve got the yellowing, furtively scanned pics to prove it!
Here we see a carefree, barely-legal Mitchell limbo-ing to
her heart’s content at a summer-stock luau, subconsciously and eerily anticipating Lost’s

We also glimpse her backstage at a production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, waiting to take the stage alongside castmate Marshall (the one blowing the raspberry, to absolutely no one’s surprise).

And we’ve even thrown in a shot of Mitchell with two other friends (who are unimportant to our purposes and thus shall remain nameless), just because it’s a nice portrait that proves her identity beyond a shadow of a doubt -- in case some Cynical Sam thinks we’re faking this whole thing for some bizarre reason that only Benjamin Linus could comprehend.

And how does
“Giving, adorable, caring, talented, thoughtful. NOT at all
a wild girl; not at all ego-driven. We must have acted in about seven shows
together, ranging from ... Read Moremusicals to
children's theatre and dramas, and I directed her in two. My best memory of her
is when we would be out in public and do this thing we called ‘Freaky Friday’
and decide to act like each other in public. It was hilarious.”
Awww, isn’t that cute? Now,
excuse me … where’s the dirt??!! Where’s the, “She was a bitch who stole the
only boy I ever loved, and her continued success is clear-cut proof that fate
is a cruel and arbitrary whoremistress?” HEY, DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF A
WEBSITE THIS IS?
Coming next week: Brian Feldman’s bitter childhood rivalry with Hugh Laurie, just to right the balance.
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